New To This
by Enchantm3nt
Summary: A new planet, a new people, a new adventure. My take on the first game with the addition of a brand new squadmate. Will stay pretty close to cannon, but is AU. This is my first fic so constructive criticism is very welcome! Rated M for violence and explicit sexual content. Sequel on its way!
1. The approaching storm

**On the edge of the Milky way lies a pre-space flight world called Thendor. Not much is known about this world. Preliminary scans show much of the world is covered by land or islands, with mountains in the North, savannah across much of the equator and rain forests in the South. The Salarians have studied the planet from afar for some time. After the disaster with the Yahg, the Council has advised avoiding first contact with species until they develop space-flight technologies, of which Thendor is severely lacking.**

The rain pattered down gently on the leaves around her, it always rained here. But Ila didn't mind, the rain fed the plants, made them grow strong and tall. She sipped some from the leaf nearby, the cool liquid was refreshing in the humid air. From her perch she couldn't see much, even high up like she was, the forest was too dense. But the sounds of the forest told her there was a Ginajtu nest to her left, they were buzzing angrily at the bad weather. Far below were countless creatures, scurrying for shelter from the approaching storm. None of them would fill her hungry belly, nor the others in her clan her _Chidro_. She was their best hunter, there were others of course, each clan had several hunters known as the _Baleen,_ there were teachers and healers too, a few craftsmen and traders. But they were a simple people. Each clan was led by a chief; the _Cherren_, and all the clans in a region were part of one tribe, one Tilabo. There were many regions on her world; the great northern mountains and their dark forests, the great purple plains, the eastern light forests and the endless grass sea and many more that the Mature of her tribe tell wondrous stories about. Her clan was part of the southern rain forest tribe. Ila's father was the Cherren of the west rain forest.

She sighed. It wasn't like her to get lost in her thoughts when she had a job to do. The hunt. She loved everything about it. Normally she'd get up high and listen out for movement, something large. Gently she'd drop down to the lower branches. She'd crawl along silently. Moving closer. Waiting to have it in sight. Sometimes she moved down to the ground to get closer before pouncing. She was top of the food chain in these forests. Her people could adapt to fight anything. They healed quickly and even the most venomous of poisons would barely cause her hearts to flutter. They had adapted to fight even the most dangerous of their worlds creatures. But today silence greeted her. Even the rain had stopped now. She cursed herself for not setting out earlier. Her brother Nehxis had insisted she spend time with his daughter, Ehlga. She was growing up fast after all.

_Don't blame me for your poor hunting skills sis. _Nehxis spoke in her mind. Normally psychic links only formed between two bond mates, but Nehxis was Ila's twin brother and their bond was closer than most. Being the older twin he was always teasing her, but he had completed his Vahera; the rite of passage. He was a fully mature male who had explored the world, seen the other continents. Mature members of a clan are expected to bond and produce children. Nexhis had done it all and Father had been so proud. Ila on the other hand had postponed her Vahera, indefinitely. She wanted to see the world, she loved exploring. But children and _bonding._ That just wasn't for her.

"I'd like to see you do better Nehx, the last time you went on a hunt you ended up being chased by a _Loghiit"_

_Aha, and that's why I'm not in charge of the Baleen. Honestly, we're all pretty hungry you know, so if you could maybe hurry up and.._

"Yeah, yeah. I am trying"

_Really? I thought you were just complaining about not wanting to bond or have children, again._

"Ugh, get out of my head, I am trying to concentrate here. You know, I have important hunty things to do, much more important than teaching that snotty baby of yours how to talk"

_She isn't snotty! You love her really._

"Yeah, I kinda do. Really though gotta hunt, storms here"

The sky lit up, shades of purple and blue tearing through the blanket sky. The thunder that followed was distant but still loud enough to make Ila's ears flinch. She hopped out of the trees, best not to stay up high with lightning about. She walked for some time, searching for tracks. Everything was hidden away by now, safely in their holes or nests. The noise that came next was unusual, it was completely alien to her. Not thunder, nor a tree falling to the ground, she had heard that once before. This was different it was a high pitch cry, falling through the sky. She couldn't see past the trees to see what it was though. Then the ground shook. Just a slight tremble but enough for Ila to feel it. Moving forward through the undergrowth she closed in on the strange noise.

She climbed a tree to get a closer look, she felt safer higher up._ What was that_? Nehxis chimed in, unhelpfully. Ever curious her brother, she could see his thoughts, see his surroundings, he was heading her way. Always the protective big brother. She moved closer.

A few trees were smoking, a lightning strike perhaps? None would catch with the damp though. In the centre of a small clearing, that she was sure wasn't there before, was a strange boulder like structure. It was rectangular and looked broken in places. It smelt _wrong_. Then there was movement, a section broke off and made a gushing noise, like the wind whistling through the trees. Something stepped out then. A creature, new to her. It was short compared to her 8ft but it stood on two legs. It had two arms too, and two eyes. She supposed the pointy things on its head were ears but couldn't tell for certain. Its head was long and ugly like something had stepped on it. Then there was another stepping out of the strange rock. She could smell the blood on it. Dripping from its head. That smelt wrong too. They were making noises now. But she couldn't understand. She knew if she touched it she'd understand though. All of her people's clans were once separate, each with their own language. When clans began entering rival's territories many battles were fought as communication was not possible. Until we adapted to have a sensory ability that enabled us to see into the minds of others and understand them. Their anatomy, their memories, their language, one touch and all could be revealed.

"Don't even think about it" Nehxis was at her side this time, whispering.

"I wasn't going to.."

"You were thinking about it, we don't know what they are, we need to tell Father" He turned to leave.

"Wait, we should at least see what they do next, they look hurt, I don't think they are a threat Nehx".

He sighed. "Fine. We can watch for a while, just don't touch them, OK? and don't let them see us either"

The two long-faced ones moved clumsily though the undergrowth, Ila and Nehxis had no problems following from above. The earlier storm had cleared now, leaving a bright indigo sunset in its place. Darkness would set in soon. These creatures did not look ready to handle the things that would come out to hunt at night. They followed them for some time. Deeper into the forest. _Fools, turn around._

Ila saw the strike coming before her brother did. One of the dreaded sabers. A ferocious feline with a temper. It was crouched in the undergrowth, ready to strike the newcomers. Ila wanted answers, _needed answers_. In a split second the saber was pouncing and Ila was leaping.

"DON'T" Nexhis cried too late as Ila sunk her claws into the sabers neck. The saber thumped to the floor, dead. The strange new creatures cried out startled. Ila stood and sheathed her claws. The new creatures were squawking rapidly now. A frenzy of noise and waving hands. Ila stepped over the saber corpse, at least she had something to feed the clan now. Her tail flicked from side to side as she tried to discern if these _things_ were a threat or not. She rather thought they weren't. Her brother disagreed, however, and swept down to stand at her side. Ila took another step towards the babbling creatures. Tentatively, she reached out with her hand. _Just one touch._ Her hand made contact. The creature didn't flinch, paralysed with fear perhaps. _Salarian. Special Tasks Force. Research_. Images flashed through her mind. _The Citadel_. She cupped her head with her hands and crouched down, it was a lot to take in at once. Her brother was getting flashes of it all too, through the link they share. They were both speechless.

Aliens, _aliens!_ She had always wondered if there was more _out there_. But this, this was nothing like she had imagined. She wanted to see it all, meet every alien, there were so many! Turian, Asari, Human, Batarian, Volus. Her brother pulled her back to the present.

"Hello" he ventured. Their little mouths opened at that. Ila assumed it was shock.

"G-greetings" Stammered the bleeding one, Gueron, his name is Gueron and the other is Tohle. "We are.."

"We know who you are" Ila cut in. "I read your mind, Tohle. My name is Ila, this is my brother, Nehxis".

"R-read my mind!?" Tohle seemed confused to Ila. Their ship had crash landed though, and they were probably dehydrated.

"We can do that" her brother said nonchalantly.

"Come, you need shelter for the night, these forests are not safe" Ila walked away, her brother at her side. The Salarians followed, as if they had a choice.

"You saved us, thank you" Gueron said after a time.

"Yes, yes we are most grateful" agreed the other.

Ila led them to a cave she knew would be empty now. There she told them to stay until she returned at dawn. They had many questions, _what do those markings do? Do you all have claws? How do your social groupings work? ..._They did not stop talking. Ila ignored them and healed Gueron's head. Another talent. Although her Mother was much better at that side of things, but Ila knew how to heal a cut. Nehxis waited outside, brooding, he was no doubt deciding how to tell Father about all of this.

Before leaving the Salarians spoke again.

"We owe you so much, thank you again, Ila." Spoke Gueron.

"You owe me?"

"Well yes, you did save our lives, we are in your debt"

"I see. And I can collect on this debt?"

"Well that really depends on what it is you wanted..."

"But yes, yes, we owe you" Tohle interrupted, speaking almost too fast for Ila to understand.

Ila pondered for a moment, staring down at these strange creatures. There was only one thing she wanted from them.

"I want to see the stars".


	2. Take off

Tohle and Gueron had stuttered at that. Mouths agape. They tried to explain that such a thing would not be possible, there were rules and guidelines and Ila had cut them off with a wave of her hand.

"You're the ones who dropped out of the sky into _my_ forest. I saved your lives, like you said, you owe me. I am telling you I want to see the stars, the Citadel. My people need not know I am gone, I can tell them I am going on my Vahera, my rite of passage into adulthood".

Nehxis had complained at that too, but her mind was made up and that was the end of the discussion. They were walking back now, the Salarians left in the saber cave. Nehxis was carrying our prize on his back the beast was as tall as him and contrasted deeply with his skin, black against silver; like the moon shinning somewhere up above. His namesake. _Nehxan_ was the name of the biggest moon and Ila had been named after their Sun, _Ilan_ for her golden skin tone. They were unique. Their white and blonde hair stood out in these forests where most of her people had brown, black or green colourings. But Ila and Nehxis were the only ones gold and silver. She supposed it was a genetic mutation after learning much from the Salarians.

She knew her brother wasn't happy. He was so stubborn. He had seen the same images Ila had seen and yet he didn't understand why she would want to leave. He had a family though, he had no choice but to stay. And he was not pleased about the plan to lie to Father. But it was for his own good. He would only worry, or worse stop Ila from leaving with the Salarians.

"Of course he'd stop you! This is foolish, you can't just leave" Nehx complained ahead of her.

"We are not debating this Nehx. Look, I can handle myself, I want to go, and I'll be back before you know it, a simple meet and greet, we could learn so much from them"

"We've been fine so far without _aliens_, I just think it's too dangerous, there are too many unknowns"

"Which is why someone needs to go up there and _learn_, I will adapt to whatever technology and weapons they have so they can't hurt us"

"Ila..."

"Nehx. I'll be fine. We're nearly there now, I'll talk to Father and Mother and you can cook that saber up for everyone."

Their home was a series of tall trees that created a solid canopy above to keep out the rain. Nothing special compared to the savannah clans who made shelters from wood and animal skins. But it was home. A fire cooked in the center, many low branches were occupied by various members of her clan. The children cheered as Nehx carried the saber into the clearing. It was rare to kill a saber, Ila preferred hunting the more common species. But this kill couldn't be helped.

Her Father was at the far side speaking with the clans Elder. Olnius. He was _old_. His wrinkles had wrinkles. But he was wise and kind enough. Ila approached her Father and knelt.

"Ah my children return with a kill, a saber too."

"Yes _Drano_, it couldn't be helped, she pounced at us"

"How unusual"

"Must have been the storm" She paused, looking up at her Father's big brown eyes "There is something I need to tell you"

"What is it child?" He put out a hand to lift her off the floor, she blocked out the memories of the Salarians and accepted his hand up.

"I have decided to go on my Vahera."

His face said it all. He never expected this day to come, Ila had been so against the idea, they had argued for hours about it. Yet here she was finally saying the words. He regained his composure enough to reply "I never thought I would hear those words out of your mouth Ila. You were always so set against it, why now?"

"It is time for me to grow up, I've always wanted to go exploring.."

"You will be expected to find a bond mate when you return.."

"I know Father. I still want to do this. I've thought long and hard about this" She shrugged

"Very well Ila." He embraced her then with a look on his face she so rarely saw, pride.

She returned to the Salarians at dawn, as promised. She went alone this time though. Although Nehxis was watching her thoughts closely. She brought them food and water which they ate up greedily. She made a note to bring them more food next time, for such little people they ate a lot. They were walking back to their downed shuttle. The crash had been their own fault, curiosity had led them closer to get more readings, deciding the cover of the storm would be perfect for this, they did not expect such powerful lightning, however. Thendor as they called her world was a deadly place to live. Only the fittest survived here.

She shuttle was a mess and the surrounding forest didn't look better, with broken branches everywhere. The Salarians went to work, a blur of hands tapping away at the engine. Ila watched them, she couldn't say for how long. She talked with them occasionally. She gave them answers to their questions and they to hers. She returned them to their cave that night, they told her the shuttle should be fixed tomorrow and that she should say her farewells.

So here she was saying goodbye to her _Drano_ and _Midi_, Father and Mother. They had turned the damned thing into a ceremony. She hated ceremonies. Why couldn't she just slip away...

"My daughter is finally going on her Vahera! May she see much, experience much more and learn more still" They all cheered her name as her Father embraced her one last time. He seemed awfully happy she was _leaving_. She knew he meant well, he was proud but she always hated the Vahera's meaning, you had to change as a person. Become mature, whatever that means. Ila liked the way she was.

Her mother was crying now, her ocean blue skin sparkled in the sunlight. She hugged her tight, wishing her well, telling her to stay safe, reminding her how to heal certain injuries, _burns are healed layer by layer, inside to out, cuts, cleaned then sealed shut..._

Finally free, that had taken far too long. Those Salarian's better not leave without her.

"I hope you weren't planning on running off before saying goodbye to me, _sister_." Nehxis dropped down from a nearby tree, his pale skin the colour of milk.

"Ah-ha of course not..well, it's not like we won't still talk..."

"You don't know that. We might lose our connection across an _entire_ galaxy."

"Somehow I doubt being a galaxy a part would stop you from finding a way to make sarcastic quips or scold me Nehx" She smiled.

"Perhaps, for now I'll steal as much time with you as I can"

Nehxis had walked with her then, back to the shuttle, back to the Salarians. She would never admit it to his face, but she would miss her brother.

"Knew it" he joked.

She punched him lightly in the arm "jerk, out of my head" She let out a breath of air she didn't realize she had been holding. "I will though" They hugged, one final hug, not a goodbye though, she'd be back.

Ila entered the shuttle. Damn thing was far too small. Her legs sprawled out in front of her, bent and uncomfortable, neck twisted to keep from hitting her head. The engine roared to life, after a sudden shudder it lifted into the air. And so did Ila's stomach.


	3. The Citadel

Ila watched her vomit slop from side to side as the shuttle lurched ever upwards. Her Salarian companions didn't seem to mind the shaking or the sudden drops the shuttle kept making. Ila gripped the seat tightly. There weren't windows on this shuttle, no way for her to get her bearings. Such an unnatural feeling.

She only liked taking rides on things if she was in control, her people had horse like creatures that she avoided, they were too temperamental. The mountain clans had their wyverns, gorgeous winged beasts, but they belonged to the mountain clans only. It was a dream of hers to fly one of them though, she liked the idea of being up in the sky looking down on everything with the wind in her hair. This though, this was nothing like any of that. The shuttle lurched again, she looked down at her knuckles, they were a sickly white.

Tohle spoke up then "Atmosphere cleared, docking momentarily, Feeling better?"

"I'll feel great once I'm out of this damned cage."

Docking with their ship was quick and soon Ila was walking into their cargo bay. It was almost as cramped here as on the shuttle, with crates and boxes everywhere, nearly to the ceiling.

"Tohle, Gueron!" Another Salarian had appeared, Ila didn't see where from but he was rushing forward.

"Explain! Ignored orders to orbit only!"

"Commander Arnon, we crashed, this is Ila. She saved us."

"First contact made? No, no this very bad"

They were talking quickly now, among themselves, too fast for Ila to comprehend. Their Commander was a more purple colour, compared with Gueron's brown and Tohle's green, his hands were placed on each hip as he conversed with her companions. Then his gaze met hers "Ila."

She straightened, hands linked behind her back "That's me"

"Understand situation difficult. Cannot risk Galactic incident"

"There won't be one, I just want to see the stars, the Citadel, my people don't know about any of this".

He looked at her then, a few seconds at most before turning on his heels and spouting orders to his crew. Ila was put into a solitary room, a precaution they said. This room had no windows either, she found herself testing her connection with her brother, she could see him clear as day in her mind.

_Don't act so disappointed Ila_. Hearing his voice, even just in her mind helped settle her stomach.

Before she could reply the door swished open. Yet another Salarian, this one was the colour of ash. He introduced himself as Lazik Oran. He had a long list of boring questions and took some of her blood, for tests. She had no reason not to trust these people but that hadn't stopped her planning her escape. She had the route back to the shuttle memorised and she knew how to fly it too due to her sensory ability. She hoped none of that would be necessary though. Oran informed her that they would be approaching the Citadel soon and the deck would have a good view of it all.

Her hearts were thrumming in her chest, her breath quick and uneven as she stood staring out of the window. The ship turned slightly and there it was. _The Citadel._ It was huge. She stood silently, absorbing it all in. The purple skies reminded her of home, everything else though was new and wonderful. They passed a massive ship that dwarfed everything else. Each wing of the Citadel spread out around her, each lit up like the night sky. They whizzed through the centre passing so many ships and shuttles, too many to count. She let out the breath she was holding gripped the railing, despite her nerves she had a grin on her face.

They were docking now. Oran was at her side, he stared at her for a moment before giving her a smile "Follow, please"

They went up the elevator, another horrible contraption that made her stomach clench. They opened out on the flight deck, everyone turned to look at her. Big bulging eyes, was it shock, awe, surprise written on their faces? She must look so odd to them all. Standing at 8ft tall, her golden skin shining brightly, her markings a brilliant white, her tail stretched out behind her, she had to admit she was hard to miss. Commander Arnon took over then, asking her to go with him to meet the Council. Ila almost complained but decided to hold her tongue, she wanted to see the Citadel not talk with some politicians.

_You need to make a good impression sis, don't piss them off, you have a habit of.._

"I don't have a habit of pissing people off Nehx! I just speak my mind.."

_Yeah, well don't do that, not with so many unknowns_.

She was in another elevator now, Arnon mentioned he had cleared the area of people to avoid attention. Ila was a little disappointed she wanted to see something other than Salarian's, not that there was anything wrong with the strange bugged eyed creatures. They walked up some steps together passing some trees, they smelt different to the ones on her world, then up some more steps. The room opened out with a platform spreading out into the middle, standing above were the Councilors. Turian on the left, he was oddly shaped and so spiky, his expression hard and unreadable, arms pulled behind his back. The Asari Councilor was at his side, in the centre, her purple colouring caught Ila's eye, she looked young but Ila had learnt that Asari have very long lifetimes, her lips pressed together in a fine line. On the right was the Salarian Councilor, shrouded from view.

"Councilors, this is..

The Asari spoke first "Ila, yes we got your report, Commander." She looked Ila up and down "It is a.._pleasure_ to have you here" She seemed to force the word 'pleasure' out.

"Commander this is highly irregular, we will need to discuss this in private." The Turian turned to look at Ila "Greetings," he added.

"Indeed, and welcome Ila, to the Citadel" finished the Salarian.

"Thank you for having me, I know this was...unexpected."

Arnon stepped in to discuss everything with them then, they decided that Ila's arrival would be announced publicly in an hour or two. She would be _presented_ to the Galaxy. She didn't like that idea much, being paraded around like a trophy.

Her apartment was spacious, thank the Maker. They had shown her how to use all the gizmo's and gadgets and told her to take a shower and eat. They'd be back in an hour for the press conference.

The water poured down on her skin, she'd never had a hot shower, in the humid forests a cold dip in a waterfall was preferable. But this was delightful. She hummed in appreciation as her muscles relaxed. She could get used to this.

The press conference was a frenzy, like a fresh kill on the plains as the _Carrents_ circled above, and Ila was the kill. They swarmed her, cameras hovering, surrounding her. So many voices, so many questions. _Are you here to stay? What are those markings? Do you still use your tail? Are you all so golden? What is your planet like?_ _What do your men look like? How come you can speak Salarian? _She tried to give them some answers but she was weary to give too much away. The last thing she wanted was her planet becoming a tourist destination. She made her species sound savage, scary and dangerous. It wasn't really a lie after all, _they could be_.

Commander Arnon had pulled her away after a time and told people to give her some space, another Salarian had returned her to the apartment while the Commander issued a statement "A Salarian research team investigating the pre-space flight world of Thendor.."

A few days had passed by now. Ila had sat at a computer, researching, reading, learning, about anything and everything. _The Humans First Contact War_, she made a note to herself not to piss off the Turian's, _strongest military in the Galaxy._ The Krogan, who contact was made with to win a war against the Rachni. _And as thanks they had unleashed the Genophage. _She wouldn't let the Council threaten her people in such a way.

She had gone exploring too, talked with other species, a Quarian on her pilgrimage, A Volus tradesmen, several Humans, Asari and Batarian's too. All fascinating to her, she touched them all to learn their language and anatomy. Everyone wanted to talk to her. She was big news after all. The Council's security team was with her at all times, _as a precaution_, they had said. She didn't like being watched all the time, she managed to lose them a few times but they quickly found her, damn cameras everywhere.

The news stories soon changed, shifting the focus off of her. There was a new Human Spectre, the _first_ Human Spectre. Ila was grateful, she was growing sick of hearing her name everywhere she went. Further meetings with the Council were pretty useless, Ila wanted to go see the stars but the Council said it was too dangerous, they were so damn cautious. "We have tried to convince some of the cruise liners to take you on a tour of some planets in Council space Ila, but their insurance simply doesn't cover non-council species. Nobody wants to risk it, if something were to happen to you.." The Asari droned on

"It won't. I can take care of myself.."

"Even so, nobody will take you, I am sorry."

So here she was, stuck on the Citadel. At least the Presidium was pleasant, so peaceful and calm. It was her favourite place on the station. She could watch the sky cars zoom by all day long. Other species still bothered her occasionally but most seemed intimidated by her. The Council had agreed that she could stay for as long as she wanted, but with nobody willing to take her off the Citadel she was starting to get restless. She was itching for a fight, or at least a hunt. Her people were always duelling and sparring, it was what they were born to do.

She was standing, elbows resting on the wall overlooking the Presidium lake, watching the sky cars pass her by "Ila, right?" She spun around to face the intruder. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" Human, female, striking red hair and bright green eyes, green as grass. Ila realised she was staring.

"I wasn't scared."

"If you say so. I'm Shepard by the way." She gave Ila a half-smile and offered her hand to shake. Ila recognized the name, this was the Human Spectre from the news stories. She shook her hand. Images flashed through her mind. _Spectre ceremony, Saren, traitor, the beacon, Jenkins, lifeless on the ground, no time for a burial, _older memories too, _Elysium, trapped, so many scared faces looking to her, Mindoir, Batarian's, blood and screams._ Ila buckled to her knees, she wasn't used to seeing so much death.

Shepard was at her side immediately, Ila could hear the concern in her voice as she asked if she was alright, Ila forced herself to stand, tried to clear her mind. _Just memories, and not even your own_.

"I'm fine, sorry. It's a thing my people can do. We have a sensory ability.."

"Oh" Ila looked at the Humans face, she seemed disappointed almost.

"I'm still getting used to it happening with other species. There's a lot to take in.."

"I see." The Human wore a blank expression now, Ila had no idea what that meant.

"Congratulations, by the way, on the Spectre thing. That's..cool?" The Human looked even more unhappy now. Ila was never much of a people person but this was just embarrassing.

"Oh yeah, thanks." The Human was staring at the ground now, shuffling from foot to foot. "So, you here long?"

"Don't know, I came to see the stars, I mean the Citadel is _lovely _but there are so many worlds out there..."

"Nobody will take you?" Shepard was looking directly at Ila now. Green eyes against yellow.

"They all fear a diplomatic incident should I get hurt, I tried explaining that I could handle myself.."

"You can fight then?" Shepard seemed generally curious, whereas the reporters had just wanted a story.

"I can, I was in charge of my clans _Baleen_, hunting party. But I've never killed anything but animals if that's what you're asking" Ila's tail twitched, a nervous habitat, why did she care what this human thought?

"You saw what I'm up against? When we shook hands? Saren and the Geth.."

"Yes. I saw the beacon too."

"What did you think?"

"Of?"

"My mission, stop Saren, stop the Geth"

"It sounds like a challenge, locating Saren will be hard and the Geth.."

"I could always use the help" Shepard looked at Ila expectantly. Wait, did she mean..

"You want me to join you?" Was this a trick?

"Yeah, why not? You say you can fight and you want to see the stars, its a win-win."

"Can you do that? Just whisk me off on a mission?"

"I'm a Spectre now so I don't see why not. What do you say then? Will you join my crew?"

Ila didn't even need to think about it, she followed Shepard to the docks.


	4. Introductions

The Normandy was beautiful. Streamlined, fast and agile. Or at least she looked it from where Ila was standing, she'd learnt enough about aliens and their constructions to know this type of ship was fast and stealthy and not a heavy hitter. Ila boarded the ship with Shepard, her Commander now she supposed. She was never very good at following orders or rules but she promised herself to try to behave.

They walked up to the cockpit, Ila glanced at Shepard, her face was devoid of all emotion, Ila couldn't get much of a read on her. Sure she had seen some of Shepard's most prominent memories but she hadn't seen much of her feelings or personality. Shepard guarded those carefully it seemed. That mask she could slide on so easily. Ila hoped she wouldn't have to deal with that too often. A part from that her new Commander seemed like a good person, and the only one willing to take a risk with Ila, she was grateful for that.

Ila met Joker first. Another Human. This was one sick though, he walked with a limp. "H-holy shit Shepard! Did you kidnap the newbie?"

"Joker, this is Ila, be nice, she's new to all this."

"Yeah no shit. Hi there." He looked her up and down before offering his hand.

"Hello" She took his hand. _Vrolik syndrome_, she was still getting use to learning of diseases and genetic disorders, her people never suffered with such things. _Normandy's test flight, Joker stealing her, a Turian, Ivectus making him her pilot_. He was arrogant, Ila liked that. "Nice to meet you Jeff."

"Whoa, how did you know my name? You been stalking me?" He huffed "I mean I know my flying skills are _impressive_, but come on now, stalking is never OK".

Ila laughed, just a light chuckle, yes she definitely liked this pilot. Shepard stepped in with an explanation."She has a sensory ability, so she just read you."

"Really? That's pretty neat, what did you see?"

"Lots of things. You stealing the Normandy, before becoming her pilot..."

"Aha, that. Yeah, turned out better than I expected" He grinned

"Come on Ila, I'll give you a tour of the ship"

"Nice meeting you Joker" Ila dipped her head and followed Shepard out of the cockpit

"Yeah, you too" Came Jokers reply.

The narrow walkway opened up into a spacious room, there were people everywhere, all Alliance. "Everyone, this is Ila, she will be joining us in our hunt for Saren, Ila has a lot of practice at hunting down her prey so I am hoping her skills will be invaluable to us here, make her feel welcome and carry on" Shepard announced. Many muttered and nodded before continuing with their work. Ila met XO Pressly. Ila made the man uneasy if his expression was anything to go by.

The elevator down seemed to take forever. The Commander spoke up next to her "What do you think so far?"

Ila paused, "It's not what I'm used to. But I like it"

They opened out on the crew deck. Shepard said she wanted to introduce her to her Staff Lieutenant, Kaidan Alenko. He was dark-haired and his accent differed to Shepard's, he greeted her warmly "Oh, hi there! It's a pleasure, Joker said you were on board, didn't believe it though. I guess you went out for more than just supplies ey Commander?"

Shepard's return laugh was jovial.

"Nice to meet you too, Staff Lieutenant"

They moved on to the med bay next.

"The doc will need bloods, if there's an emergency, somehow I don't think she'll have a compatible blood type for you, but they can wait until later, for now I just want to introduce you"

"Commander, good to see you, feeling better?"

"Yes thanks doc.."

"Glad to hear it Shepard. And this is our new crew member" She stood up straight "Ila, it's an honour to meet you, I've been watching the news reports closely."

"Mmm, I was actually grateful Shepard became a Spectre, took some of the attention from me"

"Ha! Glad to have helped, never liked the press myself, some of those reporters.." She shook her head, red hair falling around her face "If I had any less patience I think I'd punch them sometimes."

They moved on to the cargo hold where several other crew members were, Shepard introduced her to them all. The Krogan Mercenary, Wrex. Ila knew she'd like the Krogan just from reading about them. They were _strong_ and they knew it.

"We'll have to duel sometime Krogan, see if you live up to your species legend's." She half-joked.

"HA, barely been on the Citadel a week and you're already challenging _me_ to a fight, you've got a quad _Thenn_, or are you lot Thendorians?"

"That beats some of the names I've heard, had some Humans labelling me 'Space Elf' the other day, whatever the hell that is"

"You do look quite elf like, it's the ears, all pointy and big.." Shepard chimed in.

She shot her a look "I think they decided on _Thendoran's_."

The Human soldier was next, another uneasy character. She seemed weary of Ila, didn't offer her hand to shake either, maybe Joker had warned people about her sensory ability. She hoped they didn't think she was prying on purpose. It couldn't really be controlled after all.

Her name was Ashley Williams. As long as she could fight well Ila figured they'd get along just fine.

"Nice to meet you Ma'am." She said in way of greeting to Ila.

Ila nodded back "and you."

The Turian was next. Garrus Vakarian. Shepard made introductions, Ila figured she must be getting bored with this now.

He spoke first "Hi there, nice to meet you"

Ila found Turian's fascinating, their mandibles, the markings each one had painted on them, even their voices, so raspy and alien. "You too"

"You know I couldn't believe it when my C-Sec Commander called us all in to tell us a new alien species would be arriving. It was chaos preparing for your arrival, clearing entire floors for you.."

"Oh, I didn't mean to cause so much trouble.."

"Nonsense, just doing my job. Are you settling in OK?"

"Trying to, it's all a bit strange really."

"I bet, can't even imagine what you've been through the last week"

The Quarian in the engine room was the last crew member Ila met. The masked people, Ila couldn't imagine having to wear that damned suit all the time. Her people wore next to nothing, even now Ila was only wearing a piece of cloth around her waist. Shoes were out of the question, she needed to feel the ground beneath her feet, feel the dirt under her toes.

"Very nice to meet you, you're taller than I thought you'd be, and very gold." spoke the Quarian

"I can change that you know?" Ila altered her height, shrinking down to a modest 6ft. Tali was speechless and Shepard looked stunned. "The colouring on the other hand is here to stay, I think." She smiled, they were still stuttering at her transformation.

"You can, you can just change your height like that?" Asked Tali.

"How big or small can you go.." Shepard pondered.

Ila snorted. "Not sure, never really had any reason to change. Its situational."

Tali questioned "So because we are all around 5 or 6ft, you adapted to that height too, to fit in better?"

She smiled at that, they were all so alien to her, but she was the newcomer, the outsider. They were still learning about her and her people just as much as she was learning about them. "Something like that" she replied.

"So everyone else is pretty much just staying down here..."

"The cargo bay will do nicely Shepard, I prefer somewhere spacious anyway."

"Alright then, I'll bring you some blankets, I'll leave you to settle in, is there anything else you need?"

"Thanks. How long until our first mission?"

"Not sure, we have to find Liara T'Soni, that could take time."

Shepard left to get the blankets and Ila perched in the corner, away from the others. She had never faced guns or rockets or whatever weapons these aliens were using. She'd be useless in a fight in her current state. Shepard returned then.

"You don't have any belongings then? No weapons.."

"My body is my weapon. I don't need anything else. And my people aren't keen on sentiment."

"Okay then, well if you need anything.."

Ila cut her off "I need you to shoot me" She had to laugh at the humans face then, her eyes went wide and her eyebrows disappeared under her red hair. "I've never been attacked by weapons such as yours, I need to learn to defend against anything and everything, two shots with each gun should do the trick. One to injure me so I can learn to heal these new types of wounds and one to check my armour works to protect me from it" The Commander frowned at that. Ila thought she explained herself quite well..

"So you want me to just shoot you, over and over? Ila.. if something happens to you the Council will.."

"Something will happen if you take me in the field with no training. I need to learn to defend myself. Your weapons are so alien to me. I'll be fine. Just shoot me in the arm or leg. I thought you didn't care what the Council thought?"

She sighed "_Alright_..."

Ila regretted her decision almost immediately. Shepard had whipped out her sniper rifle, it unfolded, long and sleek and formidable. She was lining up her shot now. Ila stood, unmoving, arm extended outwards. Deep breaths, it'll be fine. Nothing is worse than a saber bite. Their teeth had tiny barbs that ripped the flesh backwards as the fang pulled-AHH_FUCK_KKUGAAHGHH.

She didn't remember hitting the floor. The golden ichor of her blood covered her arm where the bullet took her. _That_ was so much worse than a saber bite. Shepard was fussing around her, swearing under her breath. The others had gathered around too. Ughhh. Fuck. She began to stop the bleeding, closing the arteries carefully. Her markings flared as she began knitting the flesh back together too. Her body would heal quickly despite the alien injury. She hoped she'd adapt just as quick. "I'm fine Shep, stop fussing. Just give me a minute."

"Fuck. You're really okay?"

"Shepard look, you can see her arm healing, the bleeding's stopped" Garrus informed her.

Ila was on her feet again. Ready for round 2. A tiny brown mark on her arm from the bullet was the only thing left. In time that would fade too. Shepard lined up her shot again, pointing at her other arm. "No, aim for my heart this time."

"What!?"

"Do it. I'll adapt."

"And if you don't!?"

"I have another, do it."

Reluctantly Shepard altered her aim, Ila's skin shifted, recognising the threat. The familiar tickle under her skin as everything shifted. She felt heavier. Shepard's gun fired. The bullet hit her square in the chest. She kept on her feet despite the force behind it and the bullet bounced harmlessly to the ground. Her skin was a glittering golden armour now, scaled and thick, coating her entire body.

Shepard gasped at the change. "Holy shit.."

"Damn. That's handy. Don't suppose you can teach others that, huh." Asked Garrus.

"Ha, not a chance. Who's next?"

"Me! Me! I want to shoot goldie!" Shouted Wrex, stepping forward with his shotgun. He shot her straight in the gut, she fell backwards but her armour held. _Good._

"Ohh" The Krogan folded his arms and huffed.

They shot at her for hours. They seemed to enjoy it. A few weapons weakened her armour but it adapted.

"That's all we've got. I guess you're good to go?" asked the Commander

"Think so..you say we will be fighting Geth?"

"Mostly, I think, yeah."

"Any known weak spots?"

"Go for the eyes. Or the lamp like thing in their case.."

Ila drew her claws, long blades stretched out from her knuckles, half a foot of deadly armour reinforced bone. Shields would still prove problematic, but once they were down she was certain she could tear through just about anything. "Will do."

"Remind me not to piss you off, _ever_." Shepard joked. "So, want to come Planet side with us?"

"Definitely, I'm itching for a fight." Ila stretched out her aching muscles, they needed a work out.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I used to hunt every day and I sparred with my brother regularly. You did me a favour bringing me with you, I was going mad stuck on the Citadel."

"Alright then, do you want some shoes.."

"Ha! No. They tried to put me in clothes on the Citadel. Miserable things shoes. How do you walk around like that? All confined and tight, not able to feel the ground beneath your feet.."

"Just used to it I suppose. So you're really just going to head out there with that bit of cloth tied around your waist and _nothing_ else?" She raised an eyebrow as she spoke.

"Yup."

They found Liara T'Soni's location . A Planet called Therum. Shepard had decided to bring Garrus and Ila with her. They all loaded into the vehicle they called The Mako. Ila was not thrilled by this. Yet another cramped and uncomfortable machine.

Joker brought the Normandy down close to the surface and the Mako dropped, _dropped_ out of the Cargo bay. Her stomach was in her throat again. She really wasn't fond of her organs moving around this much. They thumped into the ground, Ila reeled. Garrus sat opposite her while Shepard sat up front and drove. He didn't seem bothered by any of this, he just sat patiently.

Ila thought the ascent off her world was bad, the Mako was so much worse. Ila was thrown around a lot, the Mako even toppled upside down a few times, but it just rolled right back over. "Sorry!" Shepard cried from the front.

"You sure you don't want me to drive instead Commander?" Questioned Garrus.

"Hell no, Vakarian. I got this!" She laughed. "How you doing back there Ila?"

"Uuughhh" Her head was spinning and her stomach was cramping badly. She'd already emptied its contents, there was nothing left to throw up.

"Not far now, oh shit, hold on" The Mako swerved sharply. "Missiles. Might be a bumpy ride"

"Because it was all smooth sailing before?" Ila complained.

"You know, I'm surprised you haven't adapted to this by now"

"Not helpful Garrus!" Ila scolded as she squeezed her eyes shut and focused on breathing.

They were on foot now, Shep and Garrus had opened some gates earlier while Ila recovered, but now there was a block in the road forcing them out. When she said she wanted to see the stars, she had imagined beautiful garden worlds, glorious cities, stretched out before her. Not a fiery hell hole. She had adapted to the air easily enough but the ground here blistered her feet. The wounds couldn't heal either as every step burned them a little more. It must have shown too as Shepard soon perked up beside her "I did tell you to wear shoes.."

"Zip it Shepard. I'm fine."

Shepard snorted "Liar"

They battled their way through a lot of Geth. She decided she didn't like troopers very much. She mostly stuck to cover, while Garrus kept their attention, Shepard knocked out their shields if they had any. Then Ila struck the fatal blow, claws shattering that lamp like head of theirs.

They entered a new area "Enemies ahead" Garrus warned.

A huge ship hovered over them then, dropping something in front of the entrance to the ruins. The thing unfolded and turned to face them.

"Colossus" Shepard gasped. "To cover NOW!"

Ila and Shep took to the left while Garrus the right. The area was filling with Geth, these were different though, they hopped about like monkeys. Ila's armour would hold, she hoped. But heavy fire would not be good news for any of them.

"Garrus shoot what you can, keep their attention, I'll snipe, Ila the Colossus is yours, can you handle it?"

"Yeah."

"Do not let it shoot you. We'll keep everything else off you."

Shepard disappeared. Ila admired her tactical cloak. That would be so useful on a hunt...She forced herself to focus 3, 2, 1. She took a deep breath. Garrus poked his head out, the Colossus fired.

"Go! Now!" He ordered.

She ran. She was fast. Her hair flowed long behind her, she was a blur of gold against the black sand. The Colossus primed, facing her. She skidded under it. It shuffled trying to find her. Garrus knocked out its shields. Ila struck upwards, her claws slashing through its belly. It shuddered and dropped down, she spun out from under it and leaped on its back and dug her claws into its neck ripping it clean off. She hopped off as Garrus and Shepard finished off the remaining Geth.

"Damn, Ila that was.."

Shepard cut in "Incredible"

Ila sheathed her claws and stretched her limbs, that felt good_, really_ good. Her hearts were pounding in her chest, her markings still glowing faintly and her skin glistened from the new armour. She smiled "we should go kill more."

There were more Geth inside, easy pickings for Shepard and Garrus, their aim was impeccable. Ila couldn't help but be impressed by their skill.

"That's 23 now Vakarian.." Mused Shepard.

"Oh please, my shot with Dr Michel was worth at least two points.."

"Recklessness doesn't equate to skill" she teased

"You seemed awfully impressed at the time"

"Hmm, you got lucky"

"Luck has nothing to do with it, it's all skill"

A new voice spoke then. "H-hello?" They turned to look at the blue wall stretching up above them. Behind it an Asari. Hanging oddly. "Who are you? Can you help me? I'm stuck"

"How did you get stuck?" Shepard asked humorously. "Are you Dr Liara T'Soni?"

"I-I am, and I must have pressed something I shouldn't have when activating the Prothean security device when the Geth came."

"I am Commander Shepard of the Normandy. I've been searching for you Dr. How do we get you out of there?"

"There must be a switch on my side, but I'm not sure how you'll get to me.."

"Alright, we'll figure something out, just hang on." Shepard chuckled as she turned, her pun was not lost on Ila.

They fought a few more Geth, but nothing too difficult. They found a terminal that seemed to control a mining laser.

"That's convenient" Commented Garrus.

Shepard approached the terminal and entered a few digits. The answering explosion rocked the ruins.

"How did you know the correct code?" Questioned Ila.

Shepard grinned "I didn't, lucky guess."

"Well let's hope we keep our good luck." Added Garrus.

They reached Liara and Shepard pressed a few buttons, Liara dropped free. The Asari was grateful. They were heading up in an elevator now. A spacious one at that. The ruins were shaking around them. Not a good sign. They were at the surface when the exit became blocked by new enemies. Geth and something else, a Krogan, a large one. The Krogan boomed for their deaths and they all leapt into action.

The Dr seemed to be able to defend herself well enough so Ila focused on the Krogan while Garrus and Shepard picked off the pesky Geth. She circled the Krogan while he roared in disgust, he charged at her, she dodged easily. Then she was flung into a wall. _Biotics_, she hadn't really prepared any defences against those kinds of attacks. He was on her again, shotgun blasting in her face, her hands were up, protecting her. She darted to her right, cutting past him, claws sinking into his side. She could smell his blood. He'd just regenerate though, she needed Shepard to use incinerate to stop that. He threw her against the far wall, harder this time. Ugh. She did not like being tossed around. She was not _prey_. She crouched down. She waited for him to come to her. He charged again, she leapt up and over him, kicking him hard in the face. He roared with rage and spun around clumsily, Ila was ready, she clawed his eyes, blinding him. She darted behind a pillar. The Krogan stormed around screaming for her to fight like a Krogan. Shepard hit him with incinerate, he cried out in agony as his skin burned. _Perfect_. Ila was on him in seconds. On his back, claws sinking into his head plate. "I am no Krogan." She pulled backwards ripping it from his skull, her other claw tearing into his brain. He dropped to the floor dead. A yellow fluid oozed out around him. Ila couldn't help but stare. She had never _killed_ before. Not like this. Not an organic, not intelligent life. The Geth didn't really count, they weren't alive...

"Ila, watch out!" Shepard bellowed. Ila ducked as the Geth swung its gun over her head, she kicked her leg out, toppling it before bringing her foot down, crushing it.

The room was empty of enemies now. Corpses littered the place. But Ila couldn't take her eyes off the Krogan. _It was justified. He had to die._

"Hey, you okay?" Ila noted the hint of concern in the humans voice.

She forced herself to look away from the lifeless form on the floor. "I...I'm.."

"Don't say fine." Shepard cut in. "That was your first kill, of an organic at least.."

"It was." Ila confirmed.

"You understand he had to die?"

"I do. It was us or him." The ruins rumbled around them, debris falling to the floor.

"Alright, let's move people!"

They escaped, but only just. The ruins crumbling around them and the lava spewing up, filling the air with sulphur. The Normandy picked them up and they were off.


	5. The Thorian

Shepard had called the crew in for a briefing. They all sat in a circle as Shepard introduced Liara. Ila wondered why Shepard hadn't done this when Ila first came aboard..would have saved a lot of time. The crew wanted answers. This beacon Shepard had found, _what did it mean, what did it show? _Ila had seen the images but they were a jumbled mess, incomplete. Liara confirmed as much. The Asari was sweet, she had an air of innocence to her, but she seemed weak. Melding minds with Shepard nearly made her faint. Ila sighed. Shepard dismissed everyone after that.

Ila's stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten for a while, and what she had eaten was on the floor of the Mako. The food at the Citadel had been quite pleasurable. She preferred to just eat meat, with some fruits or vegetables occasionally. It's what she ate back home. But none of the food tasted fresh. She longed for juicy, succulent meat, blood dripping from her lips with every bite. Aliens didn't eat their meat raw. So Ila had to eat their burnt offerings. The Normandy was even worse for food. All of it was high energy, packaged, ready meals. Nobody cooked or baked. Anything would have been preferable to the chewy dried meat she had picked up to nibble on now.

"Not a fan of jerky then?" Kaidan had appeared beside her a smile on his face.

"That easy to tell?"

"You were frowning at it."

Ila snorted. "So I was, sorry."

"You apologising to me for not liking our food or to the jerky? he laughed.

"Both, I suppose" She smiled back.

"Next time we go to the Citadel I'll buy us some steaks. Cook them up properly. Assuming you like steak that is."

"I do" Ila tilted her head, unsure if she should add more "I actually prefer it raw.."

He half choked on his own breath as he replied "_Raw_?"

"We had fires, and often cooked our kills, but I always preferred it fresh and raw." She shrugged.

"Hey, fair enough"

"The meat you buy on the Citadel won't be fresh though, so, cooking them is probably the next best thing. Can you cook?"

"Yeah, well, I haven't had any complaint's so far but I'll let you be the judge of that" His smile was warm, genuine. Ila definitely liked this human.

Shepard had spoken to the Council, updating them on her mission but apparently they weren't happy too about Ila being swooped off the Citadel. Instead of rationally conversing with them Shepard ended the call. Ila had asked _why _she hung up on them, she had simply replied with "I hate politicians."

They found themselves in the Sol system not long after, trouble with an AI on the lunar base or something..Shepard took Tali and Kaidan with her to deal with it. They were gone a few hours and looked annoyed when they got back. She knew they'd completed the mission, Shepard wasn't one to give up, but it looked like it hadn't been much fun either.

Ila stuck mainly to the Cargo bay. She got along well with Wrex and Garrus. Ashley was still a little cold towards her so Ila mostly stayed away from her. She found herself duelling Garrus and Wrex one day while they were waiting for Shepard to finish up some mission for someone she'd met on the Citadel, it had her visiting several planets taking out mercenaries. Shep mostly took Kaidan and Ashley for those missions.

Wrex was a good fighter. Strong, and his biotics were a pain to defend against. Ila didn't have biotics herself. She wondered if she would develop some if she kept running into _biotically inclined aliens_. She worked on her mêlée against the Krogan. She needed to improve her close quarters combat. She wouldn't always have the luxury of lots of space to manoeuvre in. Garrus being taller and longer limbed was a good challenge, he matched her own reach well and was surprisingly fast on his feet. None of them yielded easily. Ila was sweating by now, taking them both on at once was hard work. She was dodging and ducking between them, kicking out and trying to trip them up. Finally, she managed to knock Garrus out with a knee to his face.

"Bah! you don't tire! You're like a damned pyjak jumping around all over the place!" Wrex complained as she danced around him effortlessly with a grin on her face. He did tire though, he was slower now, but he didn't waste the energy he did have left either, no foolish charges or biotics, he just waited for Ila to come to him. Krogan had wide-set eyes, like prey animals so he always saw her coming and she rarely surprised him. She dodged as he brought his gun around to fire, he feigned though and ended up shooting Ila straight in the chest. Her armour cracked. Her breath hitched as the bullets tore through her right heart and lung. She dropped to one knee as she coughed up her golden blood. She wiped it away with one hand as she held the wound with the other. Ila's right heart stopped beating. She _hated_ it when that happened. It was so damn uncomfortable. How did Humans cope with just one heart? It just felt so wrong. It slowed down her ability to heal too which was counter-productive. She rolled over, on her side clutching her chest in agony. Wrex had signalled for Dr Chakwas to get down here urgently. Ila knew that wouldn't be necessary though. She would have been in trouble if both her hearts stopped but she could handle just the one.

"Wrex, I'm okay" She bit out "Don't panic. Its only one heart that's stopped."

"OH, in that case stop being such a baby!" he slapped her on the back.

She glared at him, then groaned as Shepard's shuttle took that moment to return. The Commander stepped out just as Dr Chakwas came running out of the elevator with bags of Ila's blood ready to transfuse into her. Shepard ran to her side, worry etched on her face "what happened!?" She looked to Ila then to Wrex. Dr Chakwas was at her other side now, taking her pulse asking her medical questions. Ila lowered her head and sighed. She needed to _focus_. Her mother's lessons floated to the surface of her thoughts. _Push out the debris, bone, teeth or claw, get it out, stop the bleeding, seal the wound_.

"Shepard, Doctor, I am fine, we were duelling, my armour reached breaking point. I was careless. I've only lost the one heart, working on fixing it..if you could all just shut up a moment.." She grimaced as she pushed out the bullets. _Stop the bleeding_. She pictured the wounds sewing shut and they obeyed.

One good punch to her chest and her heart thumped back to life. She exhaled in relief. So much better. Shepard and the Doctor still looked concerned so Ila stood up, slowly. The pool of gold on the floor didn't look great. Garrus decided to wake up then, his brow plate flew upwards when he took in the scene. Ila laughed.

Chakwas had ordered Ila to drink, eat and sleep to recover her strength. Being told to sleep meant she absolutely couldn't at all, no matter how hard she tried. She always had to disobey orders didn't she? Even as a child she was always sneaking out of their camp to go exploring. It had been a while since she had heard from her brother, Nehxis. He had decided to ignore her, upset because she had chosen to join Shepard's crew. Putting herself in danger. She didn't blame him for being pissed. But she did miss his snide remarks in moments of quiet. She took a deep breath and tried to think about something relaxing.

She drifted off, she was back in _her_ forest, crouched to the floor, tracks laid out among the fallen leaves. She couldn't tell what the tracks belonged too, the rain had washed them mostly away. She followed them for a time, she could smell whatever she was tracking, but she smell was wrong, it didn't belong here. She reached a clearing, the tracks were more profound now. They were Turian tracks. _Saren_. She followed, she could see him in the distance but no matter how fast she ran he was always faster. She could never catch up to him, that was the problem with following..you were always one step behind. She woke up irritated, she couldn't even sleep properly. Unlike in her dream though they _would_ catch Saren, he would make a mistake and they would stop him. Frustrated she went for a walk.

She found Shepard eating some form of dried food straight out the packet. She looked up at Ila as she approached a frown marring her brow "why are you not sleeping?"

"I did try. I'm not tired though. I hate sitting still, being _forced_ to sit still is worse." She gave Shepard a half-smile.

"Hmm. Hungry?"

"I can't even identify what you're eating, so I'll pass, thanks.."

"Ha! Its cereal. Coco-pops. We had no milk so I'm eating them dry." She emptied another handful into her mouth.

"And straight out of the packet, _classy_."

She snorted. "Yes well don't you know? I am a very classy lady." Shepard grinned with the cereal between her teeth.

Ila laughed at the ridiculous site and sat in the seat opposite her "You joke, but there is a hint of truth to that. Your parents were wealthy. That house on Mindoir..."

Shepard's face dropped, all humour lost. _Damn_. Ila shouldn't have opened her big mouth. "Sorry, I didn't..."

"It's fine." Shepard sat, not touching her food. Ila wasn't sure what to say when Shepard spoke up again "What did you see, exactly? When you shook my hand?"

Ila sucked in air through her teeth. "Not much, like I said. Just flashes. Enough to understand what happened on Mindoir and Elysium. You don't like talking about it. I shouldn't have mentioned it"

"No I don't. I'm not used to people knowing, seeing all that, it makes me feel.."

"Vulnerable?"

Shepard looked up at Ila, a sadness to her eyes. "Yes."

Ila looked down at her hands, they were fidgeting in her lap. She took a deep breath. "Do I scare you?"

Shepard's brow knitted together, lines creasing her forehead as she looked down at the table when she looked back up her face as set, hard. "No. You don't"

Ila's shoulders dropped, as she let out the breath she was holding "Then why do you feel so vulnerable?"

She was silent for a minute "It's just _personal_, people know the stories, _the war hero,_ _the survivor_, but that women on the television isn't _me_. Very few people know the real me, even less know exactly what I went through on Mindoir and Elysium. To have a stranger just _know_ all of that. It just freaked me out. Sorry."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't warn you, I didn't consider how much of a breach of privacy my ability could be..and bringing it up was a dick move."

"To be honest, they're always telling me to _talk_ to someone about my past, rather than bottling things up. It might be good to have someone to talk to.."

"Any time Shepard."

They were on Feros now. Shepard had brought Tali and Garrus with her as well as Ila this time. They were here to investigate why the Geth had attacked Zhu's Hope. There were a lot of Geth but they had fought their way through without much trouble. Shepard and Tali's tech abilities helped a lot. Shepard had talked to Fai Dan and had promised to help out the survivors. They needed water and food and Maker knows what else. Ila would never understand why Shepard felt the need to help _everyone_. On a hunt Ila would never stop to smell the flowers, she focused on tracking, nothing else mattered but the hunt. It had taken them far too long to reach Feros, with Shepard helping out everyone and their mums with missions and quests. Now they were finally on the planet, hot on Saren's heels, and she was running around doing errands. Ila sighed heavily. She had been left to guard the survivors. She was on the roof of their downed freighter. High up so she could see everything.

Shepard and the others had been gone a long time. Ila was a little pissed she'd been left to watch over them all. She wanted to fight. She noticed the Humans acting oddly then. One had lifted up a hatch, revealing a tunnel under the freighter. What the? Some were holding their heads, others were on their knees. Ila stood. Some were shouting now, crying out. Ila was about to jump down when Fai Dan shouted up to her "In our heads! Don't, stay there! Oh God. I can't I can't.."

"What's happening? What's in your heads?" She got no reply though, instead they all began hurtling themselves at the freighter, banging on it loudly. Some were smashing their heads against it, over and over. What the fuck was going on. "Please, calm down. You're hurting yourselves.." One charged at the freighter, Ila could hear his skull crack but he just stood up again and repeated the process. There were other things now too, pouring out of an opened hatch. They were coming from underneath the freighter. What _were_ they? They looked human..but they definitely weren't. Their skin was pulled tight against their skeletons, a grey green colour, eyes black as the night, hairless with claws almost as long as Ila's. They were scraping at the freighter now too. A horrible noise that sent shivers down Ila's spine. Joker was on the comms then "Commander! Commander come in!"

There was no reply. Damnit. "Joker, its Ila. Not sure where Shepard is. The colonists.."

"Have fucking lost it? Yeah, we noticed. They're clawing at the Normandy."

"Shit. Don't open the doors."

"Wasn't planning on it! What the fuck happened?"

"I- I don't know. They were fine and then, shit Joker there are these _things_ it's not just the colonists out here."

"Jeez, where the fuck is Shepard? Are you safe?"

The colonists couldn't reach Ila. They hadn't worked out how to climb. "Yeah, they can't reach me" But she was very much stuck. Humans would say like a cat up a tree. Amusing as so many reporters had likened her to a cat, what with her eyes, tail, claws and fangs. She had to admit even her hunting style was similar to Earth's felines. She could probably pounce down and kill them all. But those colonists...they were still people, weren't they? She didn't want to have to kill them.

So she sat, waiting. Nothing but the cries and endless banging of the colonist's and those creatures. Her hands cupped over her ears. She tried to think of home, of her forest of anything but the awful noises all around her.

Finally Shepard's voice was loud and clear over the comm, _sit tight._ Not long now. Shepard would know what to do. She'd fix this.

Some time later Shepard entered throwing grenades down, the colonists fell to the floor. She was knocking them out. Alright. Ila leaped down. Killing two of the dead things. They smelt of rotting flesh, covered by the aroma of flowers. Ila was certain she would have preferred it if they only smelt of rotting flesh at least that smelt natural..this was just horrible, the kind of stench that stayed in your nose for weeks. A colonist charged her, arms flailing wildly. Ila punched her square in the jaw, the human collapsed in heap at Ila's feet. She knocked down others and killed the monsters. She was at Shepard's side then, everything unconscious or dead. "There's a plant, ExoGeni were researching, the Thorian. It can control people." Shepard explained.

Fai Dan appeared then, struggling with his gun. "It wants me to stop you, but I won't" He shot himself before Shepard could react.

"Damn it" was all she said.

They were walking down the steps to whatever lay below. This Thorian creature. A plant that could control minds? Ila could see why Saren might want something like that.

They reached the bottom of the stairs Tali spoke up "Alright, we just need to find this creature and determine what it, what it.." The thing before them was huge. It oozed and pulsed and reminded Ila of a human heart with all the ventricles attached to it. It was disgusting. "Keelah, what _is_ that?"

"That doesn't look like any plant I've ever seen." Shepard added "This may be...problematic." They moved forward then to get a better look. The creature almost sounded like it was breathing. Shepard's sigh was loud in the tall chamber "Nothing's ever simple, is it?"

The creature lifted its, head? Ila wasn't sure, could plants have heads? Liquid was pouring out of it as it shuddered and spat out something. No someone, an Asari.. a _green_ Asari. It stood and began to talk at them "Invaders, your every step is a transgression.."

The area they were in was made up of many levels, the Thorian attached to the walls at different points. If they were going to kill it..that would be its weakness. The creature was using the Asari to speak, Saren seeked knowledge of those who had gone. Shepard continued to converse with it. Unsuccessfully. The battle began with the Asari's words echoing through the room "Your lives are short but have gone on too long".

Shepard's reflexes were dangerously fast, her bullet flew straight into the Asari's head, body falling to the floor. The dead things swarmed around them. Tali used her shotgun on any that got close, while Garrus and Shep picked as many off from afar. They could handle themselves. Ila leapt over a few that were in her way and found the first ventricle? Tentacle? Root? it didn't matter, she drew her claws and slashed away at the thick rubbery skin. Liquid sloshed out of it, Tali was watching her back shooting anything that got too near. Ila could hear another Asari entering the fight, hurling insults at Garrus and Shepard. She carried on cutting, finally tearing it off. She darted up to the next floor, the others close behind. She decapitated a few crawlers in her way and jumped up to the next root. Both her hands were slashing away at it this time. This thing needed to die and fast.

The battle ended with the Thorian tumbling down into the abyss. Ila shuddered. That thing was so ancient and so disgusting. But it was strong too. Ila couldn't help but respect it, being able to control and manipulate the minds of others so easily..

The sound of a pod ripping open on the wall nearby distracted her, an Asari slid out. She was identical to the green ones, only this time she was purple and appeared entirely normal. "I am free! I suppose I should thank you"

Shepard wasn't as convinced "How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"This is no trick, the Thorian is dead and I am myself again"

She introduced herself as Shiala. She worked for Matriarch Benezia and was sent here to get a cipher so that Saren could understand the jumbled images from the beacon. Shepard ended up letting Shiala live in exchange for receiving the cipher herself.

They reached the surface again and the colonists greeted them warmly. Their faces lit up as they saw Shepard, clearly grateful for what she had done for them. Ila could see why Shepard liked helping people, it _did_ feel good.


	6. Realisations

Shepard had invited Ila out on a mission for some Admiral on the Citadel, searching for some missing marines. Said it should be quick and easy so she was only taking Ila with her. They were in the damned Mako again. A desert planet this time. The atmosphere outside not exactly pleasant. Were there no nice planets? She got thrown back and forth as Shepard climbed them over a hill towards the beacon. "So, I've been thinking, once we find Saren and this Conduit thing he's after, and save the Galaxy we should take you to a proper planet, a _nice_ one." Shepard said mirroring Ila's thoughts.

"I'd like that."

"Good, it's a date then" Shepard turned and twitched an eye at her. A wink. Ila was startled. Her expression must have said as much as Shepard laughed and added "That was a joke, I mean...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.."

Ila frowned. She didn't know how to handle something like _that._ Back on Thendor Ila was considered odd due to her colouring. That hadn't stopped her brother from finding a mate of course, but he was _mature_. Ila had never been looked at _that way_ because she hadn't completed her Vahera.

"Ila?" Shepard was prompting her for a reply. Of course she was, she'd just sat here dumbfounded for fuck knows how long.

"Oh, no, its fine. I just never thought..it doesn't matter."

Shepard was staring at her, clearly deciding whether to drop the subject. That stare though, it burned straight into her, almost as if she could read her thoughts. Ila's hearts were beating unusually fast, her breath hitched. Finally Shepard relented and turned her attention back to the plain stretching out in front of them "I think that's the beacon, over there". Ila wiped her sweating palms on the seats of the Mako.

They hopped out and went on foot, Ila could see three bodies lying in the sand. Then she felt something, she was grateful that she wasn't wearing shoes, the slight tremble beneath their feet was obvious to her. She grabbed Shepard and threw her backwards just as a massive Thresher Maw tore through the ground in front of them.

"Fuck" cried Shepard from behind her. "To the Mako, run!" Too late though. The Maw spat straight over them and into the side of the Mako, tearing it open. "_Oh wonderful_, I've always wanted to fight a Thresher Maw on foot."

"Cloak. Stay hidden." Ila ordered as she drew her claws and charged. This thing was huge. _Pretend it's a tree. You like trees_, her brother's voice, it was good to hear from him again even if his advice wasn't exactly useful, trees didn't spit or move. She dodged the Maws spit, rolling to the side. She didn't know where Shepard was but that was a good thing. She could hear her gun firing though. Ila was at the creatures body now, about to jump on it, then the damn thing threw itself back into the dirt and disappeared. _Crap._ Focus, listen. The tremble came from her left. She spun as it rose up in front of her, It came crashing down on top of her, but she ducked to the side then slashed with her claws. _Nothing. _They did nothing. Its armour was too thick. Shepard's bullets were flying off harmlessly too. They needed the Mako's guns. Shepard materialised beside her and seemed to realise the same thing.

"I'll try to get it working, I don't think it'll be able to move though."

"Aim for its mouth then. I'll make sure it's open."

"How are you going to do that!?"

Ila grinned before dancing away, drawing the Maws attention, she _was_ gold and glowing after all.

The Maw was back under. She could feel it tunnelling towards her. "Are the guns ready?" she shouted

"Think so!"

Alright then. The Maw surfaced in front of her, it dived towards her again, this time Ila didn't move. "NOW" The Mako fired. A missile straight into the Maws mouth. It stopped mid dive and began thrashing from side to side. Yellow bile poured out of its blue mouth before it shuddered and began to topple to the floor. _Oh_. Ila dived out-of-the-way.

"Ila, ILA!?" Came Shepard's cry, Ila stood and walked around the corpse, unharmed. Shepard clearly relieved grabbed her and hugged her tight. Ila's eyes were wide from the sudden contact. Her heart skipped a beat as she breathed in Shepard's scent. She smelt like cinnamon. Ila knew what that smelt like because the crew had challenged her to take a spoonful of the stuff, the puff of smoke that poured out of her mouth, at her attempt, had made everyone laugh. Apparently nobody could complete the cinnamon challenge. She returned the hug. Her long arms gripping her tiny waist. Shepard's delicate hands were at the nape of her neck, shivers ran down her spine, from the intimate touch. They pulled away and stared at one another for a moment. Ila couldn't bear it any longer, it was too much. She looked away and cleared her throat. "So, who the fuck ambushed us?"

The Normandy had docked at the Citadel, Ila had gone to stretch her legs. She found Liara at the Presidium. The Asari seemed lost in thought as Ila approached she spoke before the Asari noticed her "I love the Presidium." Her blue body jumped back in surprise. "Ha, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.."

"Oh, that's alright," She composed herself again "I love it here too.."

"So how are you Liara?"

"I'm alright..why do you ask?"

"Curiosity. You were only recently told your mother has betrayed everyone and is working for Saren who wants some genocidal machines to return...that is a lot to deal with_._"

Liara laughed. "I suppose, but I'm okay, really"

"Were you close with her?"

"Not particularly. If you're worried I'll have any loyalty issues, I've already assured the Commander.."

"No, nothing like that. I was just thinking how I'd react if I found out my mother was a traitor. Probably not well."

"She made her choice. I don't know whether Saren has manipulated her or if..Either way, she has to be stopped."

Ila nodded her head. She didn't really have any words for that. _Oh yes I agree your mother is a nut job and needs to be killed _didn't really have a nice ring to it.

"Thank you. For talking with me. We haven't had much of a chance until now."

"Mmm. I've never been very good with people. I say the wrong things, constantly. Ha."

"I'm the same, always lost in my work or on a dig site. I always preferred relics and fossils to the living." She smiled warmly. "It must be hard for you, so many new species, each with their own expectations, habits and standards, all with different facial, vocal and body languages. It's a lot to take in."

"It was. My sensory ability helped, a lot. I think I would have been lost without it."

"I find that ability fascinating, learning so much with just a touch."

"It's useful, but it's a burden too, seeing some of the things people have experienced.." _blood and screams, run! Adi run!_ Ila shuddered.

"I can only imagine." They stood there for a while, just watching the cars above in a peaceful silence.

Back on board the Normandy Ila was reading a book quietly.

Ashley approached her, she looked nervous. "Hey..."

"Ashley. Everything OK?"

"Yeah, yeah fine." She ran her hand through her hair "I was just. I just wanted to apologise."

Ila frowned. "What for?"

"I wasn't very welcoming when you first arrive and I've been avoiding you. I wasn't really sure what to make of you. I certainly didn't trust you. I thought maybe you were working for Saren or.."

Ila snorted. "_Saren_?"

"Yeah, the timing of you showing up at the Citadel just as we uncover Saren as a traitor.."

"I see, what changed your mind?" She closed her book and out it down on the bench next to her.

"Shepard did. She said you saved her life out there. Keeping that Maw off of her. Shepard trusts you and that's good enough for me. So yeah, I'm sorry I haven't been friendlier."

"Its fine, Ash. Really." Changing the subject she asked "How are your sisters?"

"Ha, they're fine, such gossips though. The Commander over heard them talking about how attractive Kaidan is the other day, it was mortifying." She paused then and shifted from one foot to the other "So do you have anyone waiting for you back on Thendor?"

"Oh" Ila's ears twitched "I, no. I'm not _mature_." Ashley frowned "By that I mean, I haven't completed my Vahera, my passage into adulthood. We are forbidden to bond with anyone until we are of age. So no, there was no-one.."

"So none of your people bond before they mature? None at all?"

"Well..I'm sure some do."

"But you never?"

Ila shuffled uncomfortably. "I never wanted to. I wasn't interested in any of that..the idea of _bonding_, being tied down like that, having to have _children_. My Father would be so upset if he knew how I felt about it all. He thinks I'm on my Vahera at the moment. I'll be expected to bond when I return."

"Oh, you can't refuse?"

"My father is the clan chief. I'll be expected to bond with someone from another clan, a mountain clan most likely, relationships with them are a little, rocky." Ila smiled and Ashley laughed, it was such a _girlie _sound, odd coming out of a soldier's mouth.

"I suppose never returning isn't much of an option either.."

"No. I suppose it's not." She sighed "I can deal with that when the time comes.."

Ash changed the subject "What do you think about aliens then?"

Ila wasn't sure where Ashley was taking this line of thought. "I don't.."

"I mean do you find any species attractive? Everyone usually loves the Asari.."

"Oh. I guess the Asari are easy on the eyes. Humans and Asari are similar to my own people, but if you're asking if I'm attracted to anyone.."

"I was just wondering. You and Shepard seem to get along well.."

"I respect the Commander. There's nothing more to say on the matter." Ila went back to her book.

"I wasn't trying to.. sorry. I miss having a girl to talk to sometimes. I don't want to get too friendly with the Commander, she is my boss after all and Liara seems to mostly keep to herself.."

"No it's okay. I just, I'm not used to talking about these sorts of things."

"Haven't quite adapted to it all then?" she joked.

Ila's laugh echoed around the cargo hold. "No, not yet."


	7. Expectations

They were approaching Noveria now. Shepard, Ila and Liara were waiting for the _interior pressure to equalize to the exterior atmosphere_. They walked out into a dreary looking port, there were crates dotted about the place and everything was a shade of grey. As they turned the corner they were 'greeted' by three well armed people, two Human, females and a Turian, male. The brunette raised her hand "That's far enough."

Shepard raised both of hers in return, a sign of co-operation "We're not here to cause problems"

The brunette had a short military crop-cut "This is an unscheduled arrival we need your credentials."

"You first" was Shepard's reply.

The blonde was spoke up then "We have a law here, show some respect" she spat.

The brunette introduced herself as Maeko Matsuo, head of security. Shepard returned with her name and rank.

The blonde one turned to Matsuo "A load of horse crap Ma'am"

Did these people not watch the news? Shepard had been Spectre for a couple of weeks now..

They were confirming that when Matsuo ordered they hand over their weapons. Well, that just wasn't going to happen. They drew. Ila's claws stretching out, ready to slash. So did the guards. A standoff then. "I'm keeping my gun" was all Shepard said. A voice over the intercom interrupted them, telling the Captain to stand down. _Wise_.

They entered the building then, more grey, even the pool of water in front of them looked dull and lifeless. Some alarms blared as they walked under them, a woman in bright pink approached them and introduced herself as Gianna Parasini, Anoleis' administrative assistant she apologised about the incident in the docking bay but Shepard waved it off and thanked her. She asked about the heavy guard presence too before asking if anyone unusual had come through recently.

"An Asari Matriarch came through a few days ago, Lady Benezia."

Liara jumped in then "Benezia, she is here?"

"I need to speak with her" said Shepard.

"Benezia left for the peak 15 research complex days ago, to the best of my knowledge, she's still there". Gianna explained that they needed clearance from Anoleis to leave the port.

Liara spoke up next to her "I can't believe she is here..I imagine you want to talk to me Shepard?" she paused "about my Mother"

Shepard's face was solemn as she replied "No I don't, I trust you Liara. You may not be military but you're part of my crew."

Liara's face lit up at that "Thank you Shepard, that means a great deal to me."

They walked down some stairs and into another elevator, a glass one. Ila wasn't sure if that made the journey up better or worse. The plaza they walked out onto was large and spacious, but bland and grey. Shepard spoke with several people, a hanar merchant, who Shepard refused to help, Gianna again who Shepard questioned about the companies on Noveria. Ila didn't really pay much attention to it all. They got permission to go speak with Anoleis.

Compared to the other Salarians Ila had met Anoleis was an ass. Barely a sentence out of his mouth and he was insulting Shepard who had now folded her arms, and pursed her lips, a face she reserved for people she did not like. She questioned him about Binary Helix and Saren, as well as Benezia. The Salarian clearly didn't want to talk, but Shepard had unbelievable patience. They learnt that Benezia had brought cargo and a unit of Asari Commandos with her. Unhelpfully, he informed them that the lab was a private facility and was cut off due to the storm. As they left Gianna spoke up with some useful advice, speak to Lorik Quin'in in the hotel lounge.

An Asari dressed in yellow and pink spoke up as they entered the lounge "The male human at the bar, he's a sales rep for Binary Helix.." Ila could see the man she was talking about.

Shepard cut in "Do you know who I am?"

"Everyone knows who you are dullstone.." Ila smirked at that, Shepard was anything but dull, she was neither boring nor stupid. They were discussing business things now, turns out she wanted to hack the man, so Shepard declined to help.

Lorik sat lazily on a chair, drink in hand. His white facial paint stood out against the grey of his skin. _Grey, grey grey_. The women here were the only source of colour. Lorik had seen Benezia a few days ago, saying she caused quite a stir. Liara commented "young males have an unhealthy obsession with my species" Ila had to smile. Shepard made a deal with the Turian, evidence for a garage pass. Things did not go smoothly at the Turian's office however. They got the evidence but had to kill the guards. They _were_ being paid under the table though and they did fire first, so Ila supposed it was ok. The blonde guard from earlier showed up as they exited, Shepard ended her with a bullet straight through the eyes while Liara and Ila dealt with the others. _Idiots_, why did they even bother fighting a Spectre?

Ila hated politics. Shepard was running back and forth between Gianna, who as it turned out was Noverian Internal Affairs and was after Anoelis, and Lorik trying to get him to testify against the Salarian. Shepard convinced Lorik easily enough and Ila rather enjoyed Anoelis being dragged out of his office by Gianna, screaming obscenities.

They had the garage pass now, _finally_. As soon as they entered the garage a Geth Prime and several snipers attacked them. Ila charged the Prime, bullets bouncing harmlessly off her armour plating, Ila tackled it smashing her claws through its vulnerable lamp like eye. With everything dead they headed for the Mako and out into the snowy mountainside. The Mako bounced about violently as Shepard drove them at speed towards Peak 15. Why did everything have to involve awful transportation? A tunnel, guarded by a turret and Geth blocked their way. Shepard jumped the Mako into the air, her new favourite button, to avoid their missiles before firing on the rocket troopers standing in their way. Ila's usual golden colouring looked a sickly green. Outside of the tunnel was a Colossus and a lot of Geth. Shepard decided slamming the Mako into it was the best course of action. Ila disagreed as she slammed her head hard against the Mako's roof. The journey up the mountain seemed to take forever but they finally made it to the complex. Geth filled the hangar they entered, but they were no match for their team.

A VI's voice spoke up then, explaining that the facility was severely damaged with many systems offline. Something was definitely very wrong. A short elevator ride later and they were in a snowy room. Snow was so fucking cold. Ila's feet were numb almost instantly. She shivered. Strange little insect like creatures swarmed towards them then. Ila stamped on a few, green blood spraying across the snow. "What are those things?" asked Liara from her left.

They moved up to the balcony where larger versions attacked them. They had so many legs and weird tentacles, they charged and screeched. Ila grabbed one and threw it into the wall, claws ripping through its vulnerable belly. She knew what they were. She'd done enough reading to identify most species. These were Rachni. The things most thought were dead, the Krogan were uplifted to fight them, they were the only ones capable of it. What the hell were they doing _here? _Ila voiced her concerns "I-Shepard, I think they are Rachni.."

"What? That's not possible.."

"I've done a lot of reading. They match the descriptions and images I saw."

They carried on walking, into another elevator. They entered the main room of the facility. More Rachni ran towards them. Liara lifted them into the air where Ila and Shepard could make short work of them. They managed to get the VI back on only to find out much of the facility was not operational.

They got to work, first they went to the roof to repair the landlines. Next they turned fuel lines back on. With all of this done they could finally use the Tramway. Ila was so sick of fighting these stupid creatures. Shepard purged a tunnel full of the things and there were still more down every tunnel they turned into. They reached the tramway at last.

Shepard spoke with a few survivors, a Captain, a Doctor and the survivor from the outbreak, a Volus. She spent time helping where she could. Trying to learn what happened. They purged any remaining Rachni and were now heading outside. They entered a square room, stairs and narrow platforms around the edges, limited cover. Not ideal for a fight.

Benezia appeared then "You do not know the privilege of being a mother, there is power in creation, to shape a life, turn it towards happiness or despair." She was staring at something, a huge tank in the centre of the room.. _Rachni Queen_ "Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies" She turned to face them, standing above them all. Her long black dress and cowl made her look like one of the Rachni, black and lethal. "I won't be moved by sympathy, no matter _who_ you bring into this confrontation."

Shepard explained that Liara was here because she wanted to be not because she asked.

"Indeed, what have you been saying about me Liara?"

"What could I say, that you are insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you?" The desperation in Liara's voice spoke volumes "What could I say!?"

Benezia stepped forward, ignoring her daughter's comments "Have you faced an Asari Commando unit before, few humans have"

"I can't believe you'd kill your own daughter" Shepard said as she looked at Liara.

"I now realise I should have been stricter with her" She flared purple before her commandos poured in. Ila was immediately hit with biotics, knocking her to the floor temporarily. Ila stabbed one through the heart and cut another's neck wide open. Geth entered next Shepard sniped them off while Liara threw them into the air, any left standing were Ila's to pounce upon. Benezia herself was using biotic barriers to keep herself safe and only occasionally throwing an attack. But she was weak. Falling to her knees. Her Commando unit dead. "This is not over, Saren is unstoppable, my mind is filled with his light, everything is clear"

"The Rachni didn't cooperate with you, why should I?" Asked Shepard.

"I will not betray him, you will" She was struggling to remain on her feet, every word a challenge to speak. "you-" she turned to face them then, standing straight, she seemed a different women all of a sudden "you must listen, Saren still whispers in my mind, I can fight his compulsions, briefly" She gasped for air "but the indoctrination is strong". She explained that Saren was controlling her, that people act differently around him, they worship him. She told them of Saren's ship, a dreadnought of colossal size and extraordinary power, beyond any known species' technologies. Saren had sent her here to find the location of the Mu Relay, the Rachni had found the relay 2,000 years ago. Due to their ability to share memories Benezia was able to extract the location of the relay from the Queen. Saren believed the relay would lead him to the Conduit. She gave them the coordinates. But Benezia was losing control now.

Liara cried out for her Mother, helpless "don't leave, fight him!" she begged.

"You've always made me proud, Liara" When she turned to face them again, a purple aura enveloped her and her only words were "DIE"

Liara was frozen, unable or unwilling to fight her own mother, to kill her. "We have to kill her Liara, end her suffering, I am so sorry" Ila said, trying to get through to her. Shepard shot first, ripping a whole in the Asari's arm. Liara threw Benezia against the glass of the Rachni cage. Ila approached slowly. Her claws dug deep into her flesh "I'm sorry."

Benezia was in control again, but knew she would be forever changed. "Mother" Liara cried out

"Good night little wing, I will see you at the new dawn" she slumped to the floor crying "no light, they always said there would be a li-".

Liara was sobbing next to her. Shepard hugged her "I am so sorry Liara."

One of the dead Commandos stood then, Ila drew her claws. Its feet dragged along awkwardly, head tilted, eyes closed. It spoke in a voice other than the Asari's "This one serves as our voice, we cannot sing, not in these low spaces, your music's are colourless"

Shepard scratched the back of her neck "Music's? What?"

"Your way of communicating is strange..." It explained that it could control anything. The scientists had taken her children before they could learn to sing and that fear had shattered their minds. "will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?" A decision then. Kill her or let her go free. Liara spoke up, saying we should free her.

"What about you Ila?"

"Free her. Genocide is never OK. Like Liara said, she has done nothing to us."

Shepard let the Queen go. The creature scuttled off. Ila hoped they had made the right decision.. They returned to the Normandy.

She had never appreciated returning to the relative comfort of the ship before. Liara sulked off, back to her room. "Should we talk to her?"

"Let her have some time alone. I think she needs it, I'll talk to her later, get some rest Ila."

Ila napped for a time but she was never very good at sleeping, at least not off-world. She missed falling asleep to the sound of the rain, pattering gently on the leaves, even thunderstorms were somewhat relaxing. Better than the endless hum of the Normandy's engine. She could hear Wrex and Garrus joking around on the far side. They were butting heads on who was the stronger between the two of them. Wrex reminded Garrus how easily Ila had knocked him out and that technically _he_ had won that fight when he shot Ila. She laughed. She was tempted to challenge them to a rematch but she decided to try something else for a change.

She went up to the kitchen, searching the cupboards, it must be around here somewhere. Ah there it is. A bottle of Canadian Whiskey, Kaidan's. Somehow though Ila thought he wouldn't mind if she borrowed it. She walked through the med bay, the doctor wasn't in, and straight through into Liara's room. She was playing a video of her as a child, Benezia was throwing her up into the air, they looked so happy. Liara turned to her tears in her eyes and saw what was in her hand. "Ila..I- appreciate the thought but I don't drink.."

"Neither do I. Ever wondered what a drunk Thendoran looks like? We're going to find out". She poured the whiskey into two glasses. It smelt strong. "Plus you could use a drink after today.." She gulped it down and coughed. UGGHHH. Her throat was burning and she could feel the heat of it in her stomach. Liara looked at her drink before downing it too. "I know it's not worth much, but your mother..at first I thought she was weak, her barriers came crumbling down so easily..but, then when she broke through the indoctrination and explained everything.." Ila poured more drink. "She was so strong Liara, fighting us and Saren at the same time. We'll make Saren pay for what he put her through."

"I know we will, Shepard will get it done. Thank you, for your kind words"

They drank again for a time before Liara spoke again "Tell me about your Mother, you don't speak of your family much?" Liara asked her

"I guess we were never very close, I was only close to my brother really. My mother is the clans healer, she's respectable and always looks beautiful, she cares a lot about everyone, and was always fussing over me. Every cut or bruise, she would spend ages healing it so as not to leave a scar. I needed to look beautiful so I would find a strong bond mate one day." Ila sighed and took another sip of her drink. "She controlled my appearance and my Father my actions, he had so many rules. I broke nearly all of them daily of course. I never wanted a bond mate, I liked fighting and hunting and exploring. I liked being alone." The room was starting to spin now. "What about your father?"

"I don't know who my father is, my mother never talked about her."

"You know she was Asari though?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to find her?"

"Not particularly, she hasn't been in my life so far, why should I care to meet her?"

"It might be nice" She drank some more. "She could be terrible though. Perhaps meeting her isn't such a great idea. My ideas are normally pretty, pretty great though..." She filled her glass again. Liara was drinking hers too, but slower. Ila felt so warm and happy. "Where are all the nice planets?"

"Nice planets?"

"Yes. I want to seee a nice planet. A Pretty one. I'm so sick of snow and lava and ugly creatures and the Geth. Where are all the preetty ones?"

Liara laughed. "You're slurring"

"Good. Isn't that the point of this stuff? Pretty things where are they? Want anymore?" She asked pointing at the bottle.

"Go ahead. Although Kaidan won't be happy about this.."

"Ahh he'll be fine, he never drank the damn thing anyways.." She downed the bottle. "what were we talking about?"

"I believe you wanted to find the pretty-"

"Pretty things! Yesss." Shepard walked in then. "There's a pretty thing!" She pointed at the Human and giggled before falling to the floor, the room was spinning as she tried to stand again. Shepard looked funny upside down.

"You're drunk"

"Am not!" Ila laughed and rolled over.

"Come on, up, I'm taking you to bed. Liara you okay.."

"I am Shepard, thank you."

Shepard hauled her to her feet but she had to lean heavily on the human to keep from falling down again. Ila couldn't stop giggling. Shepard led her towards her own quarters "You'll wake everyone up so you can sleep in my bed."

"You-you just want this" She signalled her entire body and twitched her eye at her.

"Ila you're drunk, you need to sober up."

Shepard sat her down on the foot of her bed. It was a big bed. Ila grabbed the Commanders wrist and dragged her down on the bed too. "You are soo pretty." She was in the Commanders face now "Such green eyes, like trrees." She touched her hair next, running her fingers through the silky strands. "Mmmmm good hair too."

"Ila.."

"I want to-" She blacked out.


	8. Hard truths

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was her head pounding against her skull. She moaned. What the fuck happened last night? She reluctantly opened one eye, offended by the brightness of the room. That was off. The cargo bay was always..She bolted upright. She was in Shepard's room, Shepard's bed! She sucked in a sharp breath. Shepard was stirring next to her, her red hair all mused.

"Mmm, morning" came her muffled greeting.

"I have to go."

Shepard sat up at that "Everything ok?"

"I'm sorry, I-I can't."

Shepard grabbed her wrist, had she done the same to her the night before? Her memory was foggy. "Easy, you look like you've seen a ghost, your pulse is through the roof, what's up?"

Ila took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Did- did we.."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "No, you don't remember? You were drunk, you would have woken the rest of the crew so I took you in here..nothing happened between us.."

Ila relaxed. "Thank the Maker" she said under her breath.

Shepard frowned. "That's what you were panicking about? You thought something happened between us and freaked? Do I repulse you so much.."

"Shit. Shepard. I didn't.."

"No, its fine. I just thought.."

"It's not. Look I, It's not that I don't.. find you..I do. It's just I'm already breaking so many rules..my Father.. my people believe in _bonding_, mating for life..anything else is frowned upon.. "

"It's fine, just drop it." She folded her arms.

Ila growled. "No." That got Shepard's attention. "You are the most incredible Human I've met. I am drawn to you Shepard. You are the fire and I am the moth. My heart races when I am with you, my palms sweat. I've ignored it all, all the signs. But the truth is I'm attracted to you. How can I not be?" Shepard unfolded her arms. "I just don't know what to do with any of that. I need time to think... I didn't know you-"

"Felt the same? Well I do. I don't think anyone has surprised me as much as you have, at first I just wanted you on my crew because I figured you'd be useful and I knew it would piss off the Council. But after getting to know you..I _care_ about you Ila."

"I care about you too." Ila looked down.

Shepard put her hand on her chin and tilted her head "Come on, we can figure this out later. Want something to eat?"

They walked through to the commons, Shepard put the kettle on and Ila plonked herself down at the table. Everything hurt.

"You won't get any sympathy from me, you're the one who drank the bottle.." Shepard was smirking as she poured two cups of coffee. "Why _did_ you get drunk?"

"I'd never tried alcohol before, seemed am appropriate time to try."

"Appropriate would have been a glass or two.."

"Shepard."

"Liara was the one in mourning but you were the one who got shit faced..Why?"

"Does it matter? I won't drink again, promise"

"No, I want to know."

"Ughhh."

"You know I won't drop this.." Shepard handed her the coffee.

"It-I just," She sighed. "I like it here. I feel useful and valued and appreciated. Shit, I'm not a total disappointment to you or anyone. We're getting close now. Hot on Saren's heels. Once this is all over.."

"You'll have to return to Thendor."

"I'll have to _bond_ with someone. I-"

"So don't go back. Stay here with us, with, me."

Ila stared at Shepard. "I- it's tempting, trust me...but it would be running away. My parents would be heartbroken. My brother.. he would never forgive me, hell he's pissed I'm even on the Normandy in the first place, we haven't talked for ages, the longer we are apart the weaker my connection to him will get. To lose that, to never hear his voice, never see my people, never race through the forests again.." Ila sipped her coffee. "I want to focus on Saren, on the mission, but I'm conflicted."

Shepard cradled her coffee mug staring down at it like it my yield answers to Ila's predicament. "It's your decision to make, nobody else can make it for you.."

"I know and it sucks."

"We'll figure it all out, I'm going to go check on Liara.."

Ila had nearly finished her coffee when Kaidan walked in. Ah, great. She could try and cover up the fact she had drunk all of his whiskey or she could be honest..

"You look rough, everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, nursing a hangover.."

"Really? Oh man did I miss you getting drunk?"

"Yup. I don't remember much, I'm sure it was amusing though."

"Yeah, I bet. Damn. That would have gotten a lot of hits on the extranet."

She snorted. "There's something I need to confess to you.."

"Uh-oh, that sounds ominous."

"I stole your whiskey. I drank all of it too..with Liara. Sorry. I'll get you a new one.."

His face dropped "You did what! That bottle was all I had left of my Grandfather, it was a gift from him.." His hands curled into fists. _Shit_.

"Kaidan, I am so sorry- I didn't know.." He started to laugh.

"Oh you're rotten. That wasn't your Grandfather's?"

"Your face. Man I wish I filmed that. Ha, Ila it's alright, they're a dime a dozen."

"I guess I deserved that." She chuckled "Still, I'll buy you a new one when we're on the Citadel"

She made good on her promise, they had stopped at the Citadel, Shepard needed to speak with the Admiral about the Maw ambush and Ila had snuck off to the shops, she wasn't sure what whiskeys were best so she bought several. A young Asari was waiting for her "Please, come this way, the Asari Councilor would like to speak with you."

_Ah balls_. She followed. The Councilors chambers were light and breezy, with a gorgeous view of the Presidium. "Ah Ila, thank you for coming. I will make this quick. The Council is, concerned, you have been off world for some time now, we do not want a diplomatic incident should your people.."

"They won't worry about me. Vahera's can take months, they won't even flick their tails at the amount of time I've been gone for."

"But if something should happen to you..We've seen Shepard's reports, Rachni, The Thorian, Geth, you have been put in considerable danger by the Commander. If something were to happen to you.."

"It won't, I'm fine. What are my people going to go? Build a space ship and attack you?" She laughed.

"You have that psychic link with your brother, we know you have read up on our technologies..you laugh but it is not impossible that with the information you have learnt.."

"You don't trust me or my people. Well, you shouldn't I came here to learn so that we could defend ourselves, but only biologically. We have no need for ships or guns."

"An enemy we can't kill is still a formidable enemy to have.. "

"Then don't make me an enemy."

"That is not our intention, the Council feels it would be best if you return to your home world.."

"Not until this mission is complete. We're done here."

_Fucking politicians_. She stormed back to the Normandy.

"Whoa. Hey slow down, what's wrong?" Shepard put a hand out to halt her.

"The bloody council."

"What have they done?" Worry etched on her face.

"Nothing, they just implied it would be best if I returned home to Thendor."

"Why would they say that?"

"They don't trust me or my people, they think they know too much and are worried that should something happen to me.."

"They think there'd be a war"

"Except there wouldn't be. I told the Council and reporters that my people are savage and dangerous so that they wouldn't go near Thendor. They're not actually like that at all! Sure we fight a lot, but it's sparring, its harmless. We're not killers."

"I know that. The look on your face after you killed that Krogan Battlemaster.. Ila, I won't let anything happen to you"

"Nor I you Shepard. We got a new mission yet? I want to kill something."

They did in fact have a number of matters to attend to. Wrex wanted his families armour back, Garrus wanted to go after some Doctor that had escaped him in his C-Sec days and the Admiral wanted Shepard to chase some leads, a group called _Cerberus_ were the ones responsible for the Maw ambush.

They followed up the Cerberus leads first. Kaidan, Ashley and Ila had come for this one. One such lead led them to a planet called Nepmos, unlike the others in their party Ila didn't use oxygen masks to breathe, she could adapt to breath just about anything even the vile sulphur dioxide air of this world. They found a captain and three marines fighting waves and waves of Rachni. Cerberus had somehow gotten their hands on the creatures from Noveria.

They discovered a mine not far away, being used as a nest of some sort. The tunnels and chambers were infested. Kaidan used his biotics to knock them back while Shepard Sniped them off, Ashley and Ila worked together to keep the Rachni focused on them. Ila would kick a Rachni straight into the barrel of Ashley's gun and so the dance continued. The chamber split into two tunnels. Ashley and Shepard took one and Kaidan and Ila took the other. Ila sliced through the Rachni without much trouble, cutting off limbs or knocking them down, Kaidan finished them off. Then something else emerged. It was bigger than the other Rachni, a male, older than any others they had faced. It had biotics. Ila was in a stasis before she could even blink. The Rachni charged at Kaidan barrelling into him. He had his arms up in defence but the creature was strong, overpowering him. Finally the stasis faded and Ila brought her claws down on the creatures head, killing it. She helped pull it off of Kaidan, he didn't seem too badly hurt. Then they heard screams from the other tunnel. _Shepard_.

Ila was fast, reaching the other tunnel in no time at all, Ashley was unconscious, and Shepard, Ila gasped, Shepard was on the ground at the far end, the Rachni was on top of her just like Kaidan had been. Ila grabbed the creature by its legs and threw it backwards, Shepard was bleeding badly, a gaping hole on her neck and shoulder. Ila heard Kaidan kill the Rachni behind her before kneeling down to check on Ash but Ila only had eyes for Shepard. She crouched down and touched her. She was losing too much blood, going into shock. Ila focused. She could heal her, _she had to_. She imagined the blood stopping, flesh knitting back together, the poison being drawn out of her. Her markings were glowing brightly, almost blindingly so. She could feel her energy reserves flagging. _She could not stop_. She pushed herself further, the wound was nearly closed now, one last wave of healing energy got Shepard to wake up. Her big green eyes were foggy as she looked up at Ila, her smile was the last thing she remembered before blacking out.

She woke up in the med bay. Dr Chakwas was standing over of, checking her vitals. "Ah good, you're awake."

"Is-is Shepard.."

"She's fine, thanks to you. I've ordered her to rest though. You saved her life down there. I thought you said you weren't a very good healer.."

"I couldn't let her die.." Her eyes closed again.

The next time she woke she felt better. More awake. The Dr wasn't present this time. She hopped out of bed and went straight into Shepard's chambers. She wasn't there. She found out from Tali that they had gone planet side to deal with more Cerberus issues. Shepard had taken Wrex, Garrus, Kaidan and Ashley with her. Ila wanted to have Joker drop her off, she was furious Shepard would go down there without her..

She took a deep breath. When did she become so damn protective of the Human? It was Shepard. She'd be fine. _But she wasn't she nearly died_..that was a one-off. _She's not immortal though_. _You won't always be there to protect her._ Shut up. When did her subconscious become to fucking pessimistic?

She paced impatiently in the Cargo hold, waiting for them to return. She forced herself to sit down and just relax. She found herself plucking the hairs out of the bushy end of her tail. Damn. Stop that. They will be fine. She took Wrex with her, nothing messes with a Krogan.

The Mako finally rolled up the ramp and parked itself in the cargo hold. Everyone walked out, many of them said they were glad she was up and feeling better but she waved them off, she was too focused on seeing Shepard. She had to see that she was okay. Then she was stepping out, red hair all tussled from her helmet. She seemed shocked at first to see Ila standing there, but then her expression changed to a smile. Ila ran to her and hugged her, lifting her off her feet slightly. "You're okay, you're okay.."

"Ila, I'm fine, really, you saved my stupid ass." she laughed.

Ila released her, tears pricked her eyes.

"Hey, shit, don't cry, I'm fine.."

"Sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just couldn't stop thinking about it, there was so much blood, so much-"

"I know, but I'm alright Ila, I'm here and I'm alright."

Ila nodded.

"Wanna come upstairs and have something to eat? It's been a while.."

"I'm okay, I have some ration bars down here. I just need some time to myself."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll pop up later.."

As soon as the Commander left Ila tried to talk to her brother "Nehx, you there?" She really needed him right about now.

She could practically hear his sigh as he spoke up _Yes, I'm here, I'm always here._

"You haven't been, you've been ignoring me"

_Can you blame me? I thought you were going to get yourself killed, joining Shepard to stop this Saren guy. I didn't want to see that. _

"I'm sorry. It was impulsive. I'm not sure what I thought all of this would be like.."

_You thought it would be a thrill, you're such a junkie for that stuff_

"You're not wrong, but it's more than that now..I like it here."

_Or do you just like the company?_

"Nehx.."

_Of all the! You never wanted any of that, yet here you are falling in love with a Human.._

"I don't know how I feel. I do know I care about her though."

_Yeah, I think you made that clear with your little panic attack_

She sighed.

_Look, I need to know, are you coming home at the end of all this, or not? Because if you're not, I need to start thinking of a reason..I'd rather not lie to Mother and Father.._

"I'm not asking you too"

_You already have, I have to lie to my bond-mate too, stop her from seeing what you're up to, I hate it, I want this to end, soon._

"I'm sorry, okay?"

_Sorry isn't going to make any of this okay. You need to decide who is more important, Shepard and the Normandy or your family, me. Until then, I think it's best if we just don't talk. _

"Nehxis.."

_Be careful, okay?_

"I will. Love you."

_Love you too, even if you are making that harder each day._

"Ila?" Tali was watching her, her head tilted in a look of concern. "You were talking to yourself.."

"oh, OH, no, I was talking to my brother. Sorry.."

"Oh, that makes sense. For a second I thought maybe you had lost it"

She huffed at that. "Not a chance." Tali turned to leave then but Ila spoke up again "Hey Tali?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like it on the Normandy?

"I do yes, why do you ask?" she tilted her head

"You still want to return to your fleet after though?"

"Of course, that's my home. You don't know what to do after we stop Saren?"

"No." She admitted. "I can't imagine never seeing Thendor again, seeing my family..but I like it here, I like the Normandy..and Shepard."

"Why can't you have both?"

Ila squinted at that "What do you mean?"

"Why not spend a few months with Shepard then a few months back on Thendor.."

"I don't think long distance relationships work too well.."

"It could be worth a try though?"

"Thanks Tali, really."


	9. Sacrifice

The days blurred together after that. They found the Admiral Shepard had spoken with at a facility, dead, more Rachni and even some Thorian creepers too. Whatever Cerberus was doing was sick and wrong and made Ila's skin crawl. They found Wrex his armour too, and Dr Saleon for Garrus, Shepard even managed to find some useful data on the Geth for Tali so she could complete her Pilgrimage. The call had come in a few hours ago. The Council finally had a new lead. _Virmire_. A Salarian recon team had supposedly found information on Saren, but with so little to go on the Council believed the team was in danger.

Shepard was bringing Tali and Garrus planet side in the Mako, Joker couldn't get the Normandy in due to massive defence turrets surrounding Saren's base. Ila was sat with Joker in the cockpit. They were staying out of range until Shepard disabled the guns. Ila had to admit, she was looking forward to landing, this planet was beautiful. A tropical paradise, or it would be if there wasn't an army of Geth ruining it. It took a while but the towers were finally offline, Joker let Shepard know the Normandy would be landing.

Ila, Kaidan, Ashley and Wrex all stepped out. The water was warm, the waves broke gently around Ila's feet. The sand beneath her toes was the most wonderful feeling. She sighed happily before joining the others on shore. A Salarian greeted them "Greetings, I am Captain Kirrahe, 3rd Infiltration Regiment, STG."

"Hi Captain, I'm Staff Lieutenant Alenko, this is Gunnery Chief Williams and.."

"Ila. Yes I have heard of you, the STG research team speaks fondly of you. A pleasure"

"The pleasure is all mine Captain"

"Afraid you can't leave, Saren has an army of Geth here. Need your help.."

"What do you mean we can't leave?" Questioned Ashley.

"You can't just ground us here, what exactly is going on?" Kaidan added.

"I must speak to your commanding officer" Shepard pulled up in the Mako then "Ah here she is now."

Kirrahe seemed alarmed that Shepard was the only reinforcements sent. He explained that he had lost half his men investigating this place, Saren had an army of Geth and was breeding an army of Krogan too. Wrex had jumped in at that, clearly dismayed "How!?" Kirrahe seemed to think Saren may have found a cure for the Genophage. He argued that the base must be destroyed, that the Krogan were a mistake, Wrex got in his face then "We are not a mistake!" This was not good, Shepard's scowl said it all. A Krogan and Geth army in Saren's hands would spell disaster for the Galaxy. But the Krogan had suffered so much from the Genophage. Ila thought how horrible it would be if her own people had been used instead to fight the Rachni, then culled or stripped of all their worth and cast aside. She would be pissed. Shepard was handling Wrex well, or as well as could be expected, he had his gun out but quickly lowered it. _Wise_. Shepard was a damn good shot.

Kirrahe had devised a plan, although Ila didn't think it was much of one. Using the Salarian's as cannon fodder while Shepard snuck in the back. Ila liked the STG teams too much to see them all die. Kaidan and Ashley had both volunteered to help out, Shepard had ended up deciding to leave Kaidan with them. That made Ila uneasy but they had made up their minds. Shepard had made hers up to, she was taking Ila and Tali with her; the Shadow team. The assault began so they made their way around the back of the facility. Shepard took point with Tali while Ila had their six. Kirrahe was on comms, checking they were good, they were.

They reached the first watch tower, Geth began firing at them. Shep used suppressing fire as Tali and Ila made their way up the ramp. Shepard cloaked herself and went to cover using her cryo ammo to freeze Geth before she incinerated them. Ila took down several shock and rocket troopers with Tali at her back. Once the area was clear Shepard found a console that disabled Geth communication signals. That would make them less organised at least.

The next watch tower was much of the same, a Geth destroyer danced with Ila, he kept shooting her in the face, pissing her off, so she grabbed it round the neck her other arm ripping its limbs off before plopping it down and decapitating it. They found another console that disabled satellite uplinks. _Good_.

A platform stretched out before them, two Krogan charged, Ila sprinted forwards and ducked between them, her claws blinding them. The others were on them in seconds, another destroyer appeared and Ila leaped onto a crate before crashing down, her claws cut straight through its chest, its light bulb head stuttered before going out completely. Shepard was sniping some more enemies in the distance, they moved around the corner. Kaidan was on comms warning people to watch out for Geth flyers. No surprises where they were heading. They appeared in the sky. Ila wasn't sure what to do, they were to high up for her to..unless she climbed the cliffs. The others were shooting them down but were under heavy fire. Ila scrambled up the cliff before leaping backwards grabbing one of them, her weight sent it hurtling downwards, into one of its friends before smashing into the floor in a fiery explosion. With them all dead they moved on to the entrance. Shep had sniped most of the enemies already so the rest was easy pickings.

Inside they found themselves fighting yet more Geth and Krogan but also some indoctrinated Salarians, they must have been from Kirrahe's team. That made Ila mad. They had no choice but to kill them all though, it was a mercy at least. They navigated up some stairs, down some corridors, the base was huge.

They found a Salarian, Private Menos Avot, in a cell, he was in a bad way, they had experimented on him for _six days_. He asked to be let out but Tali had reservations about that. Ila had to agree, something was _off _with him. Shep refused to release him. Avot charged at them, smashing his skull on the glass, his body collapsed to the floor. _Fuck_. "We need to stop this, _now_."

"Agreed, come on" Shepard led the way out and up the stairs. They found a Geth Juggernaut in one of the rooms, which they all dispatched quickly. And another Salarian too, this one was more cohesive, he was Lieutenant Ganto Imness. He warned them of the threat of indoctrination, he described the things done to his squad, the ones in the other cells. Shepard let him and his companions out, and told them to run. Ila wasn't sure how fast Salarians could run, she hoped fast enough to outrun the bomb.

Once the lower levels were empty of enemies they headed up in the elevator. They cleared out another room, then entered an office, an Asari was cowering behind a desk. "Don't shoot me! I just want to get out of here, please!" She stood and faced them.

Shepard wasn't so certain "Everyone in this place is trying to kill me.."

"Do I look like a soldier to you? I'm just a neuron specialist and this job isn't worth dying over or worse. You think the indoctrination only affects prisoners? Sooner or later Saren will want to dissect my brain too"

"I thought this was a breeding facility?"

"Not this level we're studying Sovereign's effect on organic minds, at least that's what I assumed. Saren kept us in the dark as much as possible."

Ila kicked off at that "You helped him and you didn't even know why!?"

"I didn't have the option of negotiating!" She refuted "This position is a little more _permanent _than I thought but I can help you, this elevator behind me goes to Saren's private lab, I can get you in." She moved towards the door and unlocked it "See? Full access, all of Saren's private files. Are we good?"

"I'm going to blow this place to hell and back so if you want to live you better start running."

The Asari was visibly alarmed at that "What? you can't, but I'll never.." She made the smart move and started running.

Ila laughed "You enjoyed that"

"Maybe a little" Shepard smirked.

Saren's lab was actually rather small. But it did have something very interesting at its heart. Another beacon. Shepard approached cautiously. "Not this shit again." She stepped forward and was lifted into the air her body convulsed violently before she fell back to the floor. Ila helped her back up. Shepard clicked her neck and shrugged her shoulders "I'm getting used to it now"

Tali butted in "See anything useful Commander?"

"Not sure, we'll get Liara to take a look later."

They were on their way out when a dashboard lit up, blood-red shapes moving to form a figure, something big, it reminded Ila of a human shellfish.

It spoke to them then, a slow deep voice "You are not Saren"

"Keelah, what _is_ that some kind of VI interface?"

"Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."

"I don't think this is a VI" mumbled Tali.

"There is a realm of existence" it continued " so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign!" _What the fuck_. The ship..

The realisation hit them all at once. Shepard spoke what they were all thinking. "Sovereign isn't just some Reaper Ship Saren found" she paused "it's an actual Reaper!"

"Reaper? A label created by the Prothean's to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."

"The Prothean's vanished 50,000 years ago. You couldn't have been there. It's impossible" said Tali.

"Life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

Ila swallowed hard. Shepard countered "There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you.."

"Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken."

Ila frowned at that "Cycle? What cycle?"

"The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilisations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Prothean's were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind." Ila couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Shepard asked "Why would you construct the mass relays, then leave them for someone to find?"

"Your civilisation is based on the technology of the mass relays, our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."

Tali gasped "They're harvesting us? Letting us advance to the level they need then..wiping us out"

Shepard demanded answers "What do you want from us!? Slaves? Resources?"

"My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation. Independent, free of _all_ weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."

"Where did you come from? Who built you?"

"We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilisation has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure"

Ila stepped forward "You might think you're immortal, but you'd be wrong. Everything dies and everything has a weakness."

"Your people are in their infancy, you are a grain of sand, insignificant and small. My kind will wash over you, destroying everything you hold dear. You are nothing"

Ila balled her hands into fists. "We might be young and not very advanced but we are _strong_" She was glowing, illuminating the entire room "I _will_ find your weakness and I will end you!"

"You may try, but you will fail, as have all that came before you. The cycle cannot be broken"

"Where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?" Shepard continued.

"We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

"You're not even alive. Not really. You're just a machine. And machines can be broken."

"Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over." The images faded and the windows blew out then.

Bloody hell.

Joker was on the comm then "Commander, we got trouble"

"what is it Joker?"

"That ship, Sovereign? Its moving. I don't know what you did down there but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half. It's coming your way and its coming hard! You need to wrap things up in there- fast!"

They did just that. They decided to head for the breeding facility to set the nuke. A few battles later and the Normandy was swooping in, Ash walked down the ramp carrying the nuke made from the Salarian's drive core. It was huge, they were placing it down at the facilities weakest point. Kaidan was on the comm then, he was in trouble, pinned down near the second AA tower.

"Go Commander, it'll take time to set the bomb up anyway" They left Ash and headed for Kaidan. They met some Geth hoppers and three Krogan in a long trench, one of which was a Warlord. It didn't have any biotics, thankfully but Ila knew it would be a hard kill to make. They got into cover, Tali was behind Ila and Shepard was over the other side. She cloaked herself and got to work on the Hoppers. The Warlord charged at Shepard who barely got out of the way in time. Ila wanted to jump in to help but the other two Krogan were on her, shotguns blasting her to the floor. Tali retaliated with her combat drone which distracted one of them. Ila was on a crate she swung around onto the Krogan's back, he struggled about, trying to throw her off but she held on. She could see Shepard cloaking and uncloaking, teasing the Krogan, pissing it off. Her claws were out then and she was tearing into the Krogan's eyes, it reared in pain and slammed Ila into the wall. Her armour cracked, her ribs breaking. She buried her claws deep into its skull and it flopped to the floor. Shepard had killed the warlord too and Tali fired a shotgun in her attackers face. Shepard incinerated their bodies to stop them from getting back up. Ila's ribs were sore but she ignored them. They went up an elevator when they reached the top a Geth dropship flew overhead, heading for the bomb site.

Ash crackled through on the comm "I don't think we can hold them off, I'm activating the bomb."

"What the hell are you doing Ash!?"

"Just making sure this bomb goes off Commander" There was a pause "It's done. Go save Alenko and get the hell out of here"

Shepard was leaning over a wall when Kaidan argued "No way, go back and save Ash, it's the right thing to do" Shepard slammed her fist down.

One of them was going to die. Ashley or Kaidan. Ila was pacing now, could she save one of them? Take their place? If anybody was going to survive that blast..it would be Ila. She could adapt and.._You'd be blown to pieces before you could even blink Ila. You're not seriously considering this!?_ Her brother's voice

"Nehx, you don't know that, I could be fine.."

_A fools hope. Don't do it Ila._

Shepard had made up her mind "Alenko, contact Joker, tell him to meet us on the AA tower."

Kaidan sighed heavily "I-yes Commander.."

"It's the right choice, you know it Kaidan" said Ashley adamantly.

_See, she is willing to sacrifice herself, do not risk you own life, please Ila._

She closed her eyes, anger boiling up inside of her.

"Stay alive Ash. I'll be coming to get you too" said Shepard

"All due respect Ma'am we both know that's not gunna happen"

Damnit. They were heading for the tower now, Ila reluctantly followed. There were Geth everywhere, pinning Kaidan and the Salarian's down. Ila tore through the middle while Shepard took the right flank and Tali the left. A few Salarian's were still alive and Kaidan wasn't hurt, although visibly upset.

Saren appeared above them as soon as the last Geth fell, on some sort of hover board. He blasted them with biotic attacks, forcing them into cover. He leaped down from his platform. His grey skin was tinged with metal, long spikes cut down from his chin and out from the side of his face and his eyes glowed blue. He marched towards them, Shepard stepped out from cover and shot him but his biotics deflected it easily, he carried on walking forward, his huge spiked toes flat against the concrete. "This has been an impressive diversion Shepard. My Geth were utterly convinced the Salarian's were the real threat." He shrugged his plated shoulders "Of course it was all for nothing, I can't let you disrupt what I've accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."

"This isn't complicated, you'll do anything to get power, even joining with the Reapers."

"You've seen the vision from the beacon...You of all people should understand what the Reapers are capable of" Smoke lifted gently into the sky behind him as he spoke. "The Prothean's tried to fight and they were utterly destroyed...but what if they had bowed before their invaders?" He turned to look at the smoking ruins of the facility. "Is submission not preferable to extinction?" _Idiot_. The Reapers didn't want pets, they wanted our complete annihilation.

"I'd rather die than live under the rule of those machines" countered Shepard.

"..We organics are driven by emotion, instead of logic. But think, if we make ourselves useful, how many lives could be spared" _None_ they're using you.

Shepard and Saren were discussing indoctrination now, he actually believed Sovereign _needed_ him. He was already the Reapers puppet. And a cowardly one at that.

"I'm not doing this for myself, I am forging an alliance between us and them, organics and machines, but you would undo my work! And for that, you must die"

The battle began, Kaidan used overload to knock down his shields while Tali's combat drone danced circles around him. Shepard was using her sniper to chip away at his armour plating. Ila ran at him dodging his missiles, as she got close he threw her back with his biotics, she smashed into some crates. Her newly healed ribs throbbed in complaint. He was on his damn hoverboard again now, raining fire down upon them. Shepard uncloaked near him and damaged his board. They were on the edge of the roof now. Tali and Kaidan had been hit with explosions, Tali's suit ruptured, Kaidan was trying to patch her up. Ila struggled to her feet as Saren dragged Shepard to the edge and up into the air by her neck. _Fuck_. Alarms blared _the bomb was about to go off, _Shepard punched him square in the jaw. Dropping down and grabbing the ledge. Saren reeled and Ila tackled him. He kicked her hard in the ribs, before running to his board. Shepard was using her pistol now, firing shots as he escaped. But it was too late, he was gone. The Normandy swept in and they got the hell out of there. There was no time to go back, _Ashley.._The shock-wave hit the Normandy as they ascended through the atmosphere. Maker have mercy on her soul.


	10. The long road

Ila was sat at the table on the crew deck, she could see the stars whizzing past them as she stared out of the window. She looked down at the drink in her hand, the red-brown mixture swirled as she tilted it back and forth. Tali was next to her drinking a clear liquid, through something that suspiciously resembled a straw. Garrus was opposite Ila, a bright green drink in hand, he chugged it back, mandibles flaring at the strong taste. Kaidan was slumped down next to him, just staring at his whisky. Wrex had brought out his secret stash of Ryncol and was downing it enthusiastically. Liara and Shepard were talking in hushed tones at the far end of the table. Liara had worked out that the Conduit was on Ilos. A world that has been lost for generations. They were heading to the Citadel now, to rally the Council. They had all agreed to have a drink to Ash. She wouldn't have wanted them to dwell on her death, she was a soldier, she knew the risks..but her death had hit everyone hard. Especially Kaidan, she had died so he could live and Shepard had made that choice. Ila frowned down at her drink. She had wanted to come for the thrill and adventure, to see the stars, how naïve she had been. Speaking with Sovereign.. a _Reaper_ and then to Saren, it was clear just how much danger the Galaxy was in.

Shepard stood at the foot of the table then, her glass in hand. "To Ash! She was a true soldier, she knew there was more at stake here than just her life. We have to stop Saren, the Geth, _Sovereign._ She sacrificed herself to give us a fighting chance. We are _going_ to complete this mission, we are going to succeed for _her_, so her sacrifice _meant_ something." She lifted her glass and swallowed, the others followed suit "Now let's go rally the damned Council and stop these bastards." They all rose and nodded, Wrex hit his chest and cheered.

Ila approached Shepard "You okay? I am so sorry..."

Her shoulders slumped "I liked Ashley, she was a no-nonsense, get the job done type, like me. I keep replaying it all in my head, could we have saved her?"

"I don't know. I wanted to take her place..maybe I could have adapted or.." she trailed off

"It was a nuke, somehow I don't think even you could have survived that."

"No, probably not, my brother said as much, still.."

"We shouldn't dwell. We need to finish this, there will be time to remember the lives lost after we've won."

Upon arriving at the Citadel Shepard went straight to the Council, she took Liara and Garrus with her to help persuade the Council to act. They were not there very long and if their expressions were anything to go by things had gone poorly. They were all waiting on the Presidium for them to return. Shepard stormed through.

"What happened?" Ila questioned

"Udina sold us out. The bastard. They've locked down the Normandy, we're grounded." She shook her head "Bloody fools."

Nobody knew what to do. What could they do? Garrus went off to talk to his C-Sec buddies to see if he could figure something out, the others dispersed too. Shepard and Ila returned to their impounded ship. Joker was not happy "Nobody messes with my baby! They're out of line Commander, tell me you've got a plan?" Shepard had just walked off, shoulders drooped and head down.

"We'll figure something out Joker." Ila tried for a smile but it felt forced. She went to look for Shepard and found her slumped by the lockers on the crew deck. Her read head masked her face from view. Ila could smell the blood before she saw it, trickling down from her knuckles.

"Shepard."

Her green eyes looked up at her, dimmer than usual, the fire behind them extinguished.

Ila crouched down next to her and rested her hand on her knee "You worked so hard, I am so sorry."

"It's no fault of yours Ila."

"Damn the Council, after everything you did for them. They're just going to turtle up and hope Saren gives up? They're idiots"

"He's going to find the Conduit and then we're all dead. All because they wouldn't fucking listen."

"We can't give up Shep."

"I'm not. I just, I don't know how to fix this. I hate being helpless.."

"You're the strongest most determined person I know, we will figure something out. I've got your back, no matter what, we all do." She helped pull her to her feet then, their faces were so close, she could feel Shepard's breath on her neck. She licked her lips as Shepard lifted her head towards her.

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson" Joker was saying over the comm.

Ila smiled and rolled her eyes.

Shepard removed her arm from her shoulder and stepped back, "You spying on us Joker?"

"No Ma'am, just knew you were aboard and figured I'd pass the message on. The Captain said to meet him at Flux"

Shepard wiped the blood from her hand and began to head to the elevator "Let's hope this is some good news, you coming?"

Shepard picked up Garrus from C-Sec before heading to the Wards to meet the Captain. Ila had only met Anderson briefly when the Council were presenting her to people of importance. It was strange to see him in such casual attire, a black jumper and slacks. He told Shepard he had wanted to warn her but there was no way to pass a message on before docking. He was not a fool, unlike the Council, he knew they needed to stop Saren still, they _needed_ to get to Ilos. The Captain offered to break into Udina's office and hack the computer, releasing the Normandy. They'd be in the Terminus system before anyone noticed. Shepard had her reservations, leaving Anderson to deal with the consequences..but Saren was the only thing that mattered now. Shepard thanked him before they parted ways. She told her crew to meet her back on the Normandy before they headed there themselves.

The Normandy was back under Joker's control, Anderson's plan had worked. The crew cheered as flew past the Destiny Ascension and through the Relay. It would be some time before they were at Ilos though. Shepard told everyone to rest up, there was no way to tell what they would be facing.

"Nexhis?"

_I'm here_.

"If..if this doesn't go well. I.."

_I know. I love you too, do me a favour though?_

"Anything"

_Don't die. _

"I'll do my best"

_Even if you decide not to come home after it all, just knowing you're okay, out there, will be enough._ _Good luck and kick Saren's ass._

"Thank you."

She had paced around in the cargo bay for a while, too restless for sleep. If this was her last night alive there was only one person she wanted to spend it with.

She was standing in the elevator, searching her mind for anything on human culture. They normally brought flowers, or chocolates or wine. Ila had none of that. She cursed herself she could go and find something perhaps.. then the elevator doors opened. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath before stepping out. None of that mattered. She needed to be honest with Shepard, if something happened to either of them tomorrow...

The doors to Shepard's room slid open with a whoosh. Shepard was at her desk, reading a data pad. "Ila" she said as she looked up.

Ila entered "Hi" She mentally hit herself. Hi? Really?

Shepard smiled "I'm glad you're here"

Ila was fumbling for words, she knew what she wanted to say she just didn't know how to express them. "I don't have any flowers."

Shepard raised an eyebrow and half smiled.

This was painful. "By that I mean, it's what humans do, I think, bring each other flowers.."

"Ila, I don't need gifts or gimmicks, I just need you." Shepard took Ila's hands in hers.

"I feel the same." She took a breath and looked Shepard in the eyes "I don't know what we will face on Ilos. So I need you to know the truth."

"We can win this.."

"Oh I know. We're going to destroy the Geth, Kill Saren and obliterate that trash talking Reaper. But I still have things I want to tell you."

"Sounds like a plan, go ahead." She seemed amused.

"I don't care about tradition, or rules, or consequences. All that matters now is me and you. That's all I care about. I want to be with you tonight Shepard, if you'll have me" She lifted the Humans hands and kissed her bruised knuckle.

Shepard's breath hitched "Of course I'll have you, I've wanted this for a long time now"

Shepard's lips crashed into Ila's, wet and warm, her tongue danced around her mouth, Ila pushed Shepard against the wall, grabbing her legs and lifting her up. Shepard pulled her shirt off, exposing her supple white flesh, her breasts bounced as she removed her bra. Ila moaned. She was sucking at the Humans neck, nibbling on her ear lobe, Shepard's hands were in her hair, tugging and pulling insistently. She carried her to be the bed where Shepard stripped off her remaining clothes. Ila was licking, kissing and nipping her way around her body. She spent extra time on each of her scars, memorizing them. The Commander rolled Ila onto her back, she was on top now, her white skin illuminated by Ila's glowing markings. Shepard licked her way down each one, stopping at her naval before moving back to her neck and breasts. Ila hummed in appreciation, she squeezed the humans nipples making her groan. Shepard was at her _other_ lips now, Ila's markings flared in time with Shepard's bobbing head. Her tongue was everywhere, her fingers too. Every touch and lick made her skin burn with desire. She was lost in the intensity of the pleasure, it built slowly with every touch and lick, she grabbed at the covers, clawing for any type of friction, she was so close now. Her hips buckled and her climax rocked her harder than she could have ever imagined. Wave after wave of bliss, she cried out in pleasure as her body shook.

When she recovered Shepard was gazing down at her with such fervour "You're so beautiful." Ila made a growling sound from deep in her throat.

"Nobodies ever called me that" she lifted her up and threw her down on to the bed, pinning the Commander's arms above her "Say it again."

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever- ahhh" Ila was tugging and licking her nipples. She kissed her again, she could taste herself in Shepard's mouth, it drove her wild. She worked her way down, so close to the heat between her legs, but she moved away, down to her toes, she sucked on each one passionately, teasingly. The human writhed beneath her, begging for her touch, _there_. "Please Ila, I need..." Every part of Shepard was beautiful. She was at her knee now nipping and licking her other hand fondling her breast. Finally she moved her head between Shepard's thighs. The human gasped in pleasure. She tasted so sweet and smelt so earthly. She buried her face in her folds. Licking and sucking on the human's clit, it swelled and pulsed under her tongue. Her hands were inside the human then, long fingers curled, massaging that sweet spot. Shepard was so wet, her muscles quivering. Her breath coming faster and harder, her hips rocking without her consent. Ila continued her onslaught, her fingers moving in and out of her, her tongue lapping away, the human's back arched and she cried out, her body going into spasm. Ila lay down next to her, holding her tight as the last waves of her orgasm ended. They stayed like that for a while, content, before falling asleep in each other's arms.


	11. Endings

They woke to the sound of Joker's voice over the comm telling them they were 5 minutes out.

"Mmm, I suppose we ought to get up then.." Shepard's head vibrated against her chest as she spoke.

"You don't sound so certain" she laughed.

"I am far too comfortable here" she murmured.

"I'm glad I make such an excellent pillow, Adi."

Shepard gazed up at her then "Nobody ever uses my first name.."

Ila smiled "Don't like it?"

"No- I do, but only from your mouth" Shepard claimed her lips then, biting gently on them.

Ila shifted deepening the kiss before grudgingly pulling away "Come on, it takes you ages to get dressed with all those layers you insist on wearing"

"Just because you'd rather I walk around naked too.."

"That, is not a bad idea..." She pulled her from the bed, hand snaking around to squeeze her ass. "But you wouldn't be very safe and I can't have you getting hurt, _Commander_."

"Nor I you. You better keep that armour of yours thick, okay?"

She left her room and made her way down to the Cargo bay, Shepard was going to take Garrus, Tali and Ila to Ilos. She found the Turian all geared up and ready to go. Tali had gone to the cockpit with Kaidan to help with the approach.

"So, I guess this is it?" He spoke

"I guess so. You ready Vakarian?"

"As I'll ever be. What about you?" He checked his gun once more.

"I'm ready and if I'm not at least I have the luxury of adapting to whatever's down there" He laughed at that. "Oh and Vakarian? Try not to get knocked out this time"

"Ha! I'll try, as long as you promise not to let that armour break again"

"Deal" Shepard and Tali stepped out of the elevator, Shepard geared up and they were ready to go. They piled into the Mako. It was more cramped than usual with three of them in the back. They slipped down the ramp and out of the Normandy. Ila actually screamed as they plummeted through the sky down onto Ilos, the impact with the surface was violent but the Mako skidded to a halt safely. They jumped out, having only just missed Saren as the doors slammed shut in front of them.

"We have to find a way inside this bunker _before_ Saren finds the Conduit" said Tali "There's no way we're getting past that door with brute force."

"Saren found a way to open it, there must be a security override somewhere in this complex" Garrus added

"Alright, move out, Tali, Ila stay close to me, Garrus watch out six."

This planet felt old, vines covered the floor, ruins surrounded them, the plants that did grow were brown and withered. Geth attacked almost immediately as they made their way up the hill. The area opened out and two Geth Armatures fired on them, accompanied by a lot of Geth. Garrus and Shepard took to cover, choosing to snipe instead. Ila attacked one of the Armatures while Tali kept the other busy. These were smaller than the Colossus she had faced before and were easier to kill. The place was a maze, the layout so very alien. Geth were hidden behind every pillar and wall, but no matter their numbers they soon fell. They finally found the entrance to the control room. More Geth were inside, buying Saren more time. Ila took on the Prime, while the others took down everything else. Her claws sunk into its metal casing and it shuddered lifelessly to the ground. They found the control panel, it flashed to life. Tali and Garrus couldn't understand what it was saying, but Shepard could and so could Ila, through her sensory ability she too, had some understanding of the Prothean language.

They were back at the Mako now. Driving forwards. They had no way of knowing if Saren had already reached the Conduit but they had to keep pushing forwards. Shepard dodged Geth and fired back at them, they were all over these tunnels. The ceiling and walls were covered in some sort of stasis pod, hundreds of them. They didn't look to be active any longer though. Shepard stopped the Mako suddenly.

"What's happening?" Tali questioned.

"Some kind of force field." Shepard replied

"Could be some kind of trap? Set by Saren perhaps?" Garrus suggested.

"That doesn't look like Saren's handiwork" Ila pointed out.

They walked through a door into an elevator that opened to a long path leading down to some sort of panel. It flickered to life and spoke "You are not Prothean, but you are not machine either" a computerised voice, some sort of VI then? "This eventuality was one of many anticipated, this is why we sent our warning through the beacons...I do not sense the taint of indoctrination on any of you..perhaps there is still hope."

It introduced itself as Vigil, it explained about the cycles and the Citadel, revealing that it is actually a trap, an enormous mass relay that links to Dark Space. The Reapers can enter and take out the heart of Galactic power and control the mass relays before anyone has time to react. Stopping travel and communication, making whole worlds easy prey. The Prothean's had been methodically wiped out. Entire worlds destroyed, others enslaved and indoctrinated, used against their own people. Vigil had brought them here for a reason, to use the Conduit, a miniature relay that linked to the Citadel. A few Prothean scientists had survived the extinction, and had vowed to find a way to break the cycle. They used the conduit to alter the signal the Reapers used to activate the Citadel relay. This time when Sovereign activated the signal there was no answer and the Reapers remained trapped in Dark Space. But Saren could use the Conduit to reach to Citadel and hand over control to Sovereign. Unless they stopped him. Vigil gave them a code to upload that would give them temporary control of the Citadel but they would still need to deal with Sovereign.

It spoke to Ila then "Your people were much admired by my kind, you showed great biological prowess. It is a good thing you left your world, they will need you in this upcoming battle."

Shepard questioned it on a few other topics before it informed them that there was still time, Saren hadn't reached the Conduit yet.

They raced along the waterways, ramming Geth out of their way. They were at the top of an incline, dead in front of them was the Conduit. Shining brightly.

"It's incredible" remarked Garrus.

"There's no time to stop and admire the view" Shepard put her foot to the floor. Saren was already through, they had to hurry. They reached the Conduit the Mako was propelled up into the sky. Ila held onto her seat, teeth chattering at the speed they were moving at. They slammed down into the Presidium, the Mako flipping on its back. They crawled out and took care of the husks and Geth surrounding them before entering the elevator. Half way up, it stopped.

"Saren's stopped the elevator, we have to go outside" She turned to Ila "There's no air outside.."

She smirked "I'll adapt."

"To no _air_?"

She shrugged "I'll synthesise my own oxygen, come on, we're wasting time"

Shepard shot the glass and they all climbed out, Ila's feet grew tiny suction pads to stop her floating away in the zero gravity. She tried to take in a breath but there was nothing to breathe in. She started to feel weak, her body shifted then, that familiar tickle under her skin. Her organs felt stronger now, they were making their own oxygen. Not breathing was such a weird sensation and she knew this would tire her out quite rapidly. They needed to hurry.

They made their way up the tower, moving in and out of vents and piping. There were Geth all over the place, all of which fell rapidly. She could see Sovereign up ahead. It was inside the Citadel arms, which were firmly shut. They were running out of time. There were turrets firing at them now as well as more Geth.

Vigil's voice echoed in her head _ they will need you in this upcoming battle_. Ila ducked under a charging Krogan, her tail tripping it up before Garrus landed the killing blow. _They will need you._ Shepard was at the hatch, Tali and Garrus slid down the ladder first.

"Come on" Shepard urged

"I'm not going with you"

"What! Of course you are-"

"No listen, Vigil said I would be needed in this battle. I think I'm supposed to help fight Sovereign."

"You're joking.."

"I'll adapt. I could learn so much, just from one touch too. I have to do this Shep, get those arms open, get the damned Alliance fleet in here, stop Saren and be careful"

"Ila.."

"Go. I'll be fine. I'll see you on the other side."

"Come back to me, okay?"

"I will. Now go!"

Shepard dropped down the ladder.

Ila made her way up and over the towers walls, it was so quiet, she didn't even have her own respiration to focus on. Sovereign was massive, she was an ant in comparison. She needed to change that. She pictured herself growing in size, becoming a massive hulking 1km high giant. Nothing happened though. _Great_.

Ila could hear Shepard on the comm she had reached Saren and was trying to talk him down. Ila was at Sovereigns leg now, she reached out to touch it but it shifted it, lifting it high above her. She ran to the other leg, but the same damn thing happened. She was too small and too slow. Her body seemed to realise the situation at last. She tingled all over, her muscles ached, sharp pains racked her skeleton. Ever so slowly though she grew. Up and up and up. Sovereign realised the predicament it was in, it primed its laser. Ila dodged it, its own legs were getting in its way so she had space to manoeuvre.

Ila touched Sovereign, her mind immediately overloaded, she toppled to the floor. She couldn't think, she couldn't move, she couldn't even comprehend whatever had just hit her mind. The Citadel arms opened above her. The Normandy leading the charge through. She rose and drew her claws and charged at Sovereign. She would keep it distracted so that they could knock out its shields.

Fiery explosions rained down upon the Reaper, but they did nothing to it. Ila was dancing around it, trying to keep the Reaper focused on her, Sovereign was smarter than that though, Ila wasn't much of a threat. Its lasers tore through Alliance vessels. Broken ships littered the gloom around her. They sounded the retreat. It was just Ila and Sovereign yet again. She leapt around it, he was learning though, anticipating her every move. She took a glancing blow to her arm. The red beam melted her armour, burning the flesh below. She recoiled in pain, how was she supposed to fight this thing when she couldn't even dent it? Something happened then. A pulse blasted through the Reaper, it was still standing but the shields.. the shields were down. Had Shepard done something? Ila figured that laser port would be the weakest part of it, if she could stab it with something..she jumped on its leg and clambered up to the joint. Her swipe cut some of the metal away, she kept cutting, ripping at it.

The Normandy was back, along with other ships, firing at Sovereign again, some came a little too close to hitting her but she continued. There was a satisfying crunch as the leg broke free. Ila grabbed it and jumped down off of the Reaper. She was right in front of it now. Its legs were open wide, about to come down and crush her, its laser was priming. _Good_. She charged, she brought the leg up in front of her, like a spear, she plunged it deep into the laser port. Sovereign shuddered, the Normandy took one final shot, hitting the exposed Reaper. Ila barely had time to turn before Sovereign exploded. There was a sharp pain in her chest just before the fire consumed her.

She was under water. Her body still synthesising its own energy supply but only just. She opened her eyes, she tried to stand up but she couldn't. There was something...she looked down, there was a huge metal shard going through one side of her chest and out the other. She vaguely remembered the pain in her side as Sovereign exploded. Both her hearts and lungs were non-functional. If she hadn't already been synthesising oxygen she didn't think she'd have been able to adapt at all. Her skin was burnt and blistered, her armour melted into her skin. She tried again to rise but fell back down she couldn't concentrate she was in too much pain.

Suddenly energy surged through her, _Nehxis_ she realised, he was focusing all his strength on keeping her alive. She forced herself to stand, she rose from the water, clutching her chest as she assessed the situation. She was on the Presidium, everything was on fire or damaged. Sovereign had exploded and crashed down all over the Citadel. She needed to heal herself and fast. She grit her teeth and braced herself, then she yanked the shard out of her. She screamed and fell to her knees. _UP! GET UP ILA_ her brother demanded.

She clambered out of the Presidium lake. She began to shrink back to normal size, it would be easier to heal a smaller body. Her injuries didn't want to comply as she shrunk them down as well, she was screaming but finally she was back to being 8ft. She dragged herself along the ground trying to think through the pain..she needed...she needed.._Shepard_. Darkness consumed her.

Ila woke up to the smell of antiseptic and the familiar beats of her hearts. She opened her eyes slowly. The room was bright and airy and full of machinery. She was in a hospital bed, the sheets were rough against her newly healed skin. She looked herself up and down, she appeared to be completely healed. She grimaced at the images of the metal shard jutting out of her chest, the agony of pulling it out. That explosion had sent debris everywhere...she had to find Shepard. She slid out of the bed only to collapse on the floor, not quite fully healed yet then. She was so _weak_. A nurse came running in then "You must rest, you're not ready"

She grabbed the Asari "Where is Shepard?"

"The Commander is fine, she is meeting with the Council at the moment though.."

She groaned, of course she was talking to _them_. "Where is the meeting?"

The nurse explained that they were meeting on the least damaged part of the Presidium as the tower was destroyed in the explosion.

Ila had no plans to stay here and wait. She rose again, taking deep breaths she got in the elevator and headed for the Presidium.

"Nehx"

_Damn Ila_

"You saved my life..."

_At a cost. Father and Mother know something has happened to you, I couldn't hide the fact that I was clinging to your life like that, they were going to send people out to find you- they were asking me where exactly you were-I haven't told them anything but they will want answers soon. I'm sorry._

_"_It's okay, thank you, for everything."

_ You need to decide. You either come home or I tell them you.._

_"_I know. I'll talk to you soon."

She was walking to her favourite spot on the Citadel. She walked down the broken steps to the viewing platform. The Presidium was a mess, the fires were out but there was a lot of debris still, the shard that had impaled her was still sat where she had thrown it down. It was huge, her sides ached just thinking about it. There were sky cars flying above her, transporting things around, some were even carrying Reaper remains. She waited there, she figured Shepard would come back this way after her meeting. It also just so happened this was the spot they had met at. She heard her footsteps before she saw her. She must have walked off in a huff as it was the only time she ever made a sound when walking. Shepard gasped, her pace picking up considerably as she ran to greet her. Ila turned to face her and opened her arms for the bear hug the Commander sprung on her. "Ahh, gently, still healing here"

"Sorry, shit, it's just so good to see you..." Ila could see the images in Shepard's mind, _Saren's suicide, Sovereign's possession of his body, Shepard narrowly missing death, Ila's unconscious body, melted armour fused with flesh, the gaping hole in her side. _

"And you."

"You were so badly hurt- I"

"I know, sorry."

"I told you to keep that armour strong" she joked but there was not much humour behind it.

"Shepard." She closed her eyes, _you need to decide_ "Nehxis is the one who kept me alive, my bond with him is the only reason I'm still breathing."

"Then I owe your brother thanks." She held Ila's hand and gave it a squeeze

"There is more." Shepard looked at her expectantly "In order to save me, he had to focus everything he had on me, he was with my parents at the time. They know something happened to me."

"Oh.."

"I owe them an explanation, I owe them the truth. I can't ask my brother to tell them that I am dead. I can't put them through that.." _Why can't you have both?_

"You're going home?" She let go of her hand then

"At least for a while, yeah..I'll explain things, at least to my parents. In 6 months time we can meet up again. Once everything has settled."

Shepard was frowning but finally looked up at her again "This isn't a goodbye then?"

"No, this is just the beginning."


End file.
